Free Teacher Screecher by Peter Bently Page A

Then—
    CRUNCH!
    SPLINTER!
    CRACK!
    The classroom door was torn off its hinges. It toppled to the ground with a
    KER-RASH!
    But the young vampires weren’t looking at the door.
    They were looking at what was standing in the doorway.
    It was ten feet tall and five feet wide. It was dressed completely in black and clutched a little pink handbag. Two stiff braids stuck out horizontally from its head. And two steel bolts stuck out horizontally from its neck.

    Attached to one of the bolts was a label that said:
    PROPERTY OF
F. AND K. STYNE & CO.
    It was a monster. The children gasped.
    â€œNow we know what was in that crate!” whispered Lee.
    â€œSILENCE!” roared the monster.
    Mrs. Garlick smiled nervously.
    â€œAh, children,” she said. “Erm—allow me to introduce Miss Fitt. Your new teacher.”

Chapter 3
    Number Nightmare

    As Mrs. Garlick slipped hastily out of the room, Miss Fitt lurched to the front of the classroom like a walking earthquake. She turned and slowly stared around the class.
    â€œSILENCE!” she bellowed, even though it was so quiet, you could hear a pin drop. “There will be no noise in my class! Now get out your math books!”
    A flutter of grumbles went around the room.
    â€œSILENCE!” hollered Miss Fitt.
    Bella put her hand up.
    â€œPlease, miss,” she said. “We have vampire history now, not math. We don’t have math till after break.”

    â€œSILENCE!” screeched Miss Fitt. “If I say we have math, we have math! What is your name, girl?”
    â€œB-Bella Williams, miss.”
    â€œWhat is thirty-seven times thirty-seven? You have five seconds!” demanded Miss Fitt.
    Bella was really good at math and was about to give the answer when Miss Fitt snapped, “Time’s up! Hah! As I thought! Vampires know nothing! You will all stay in during break and write out your thirty-seven times table thirty-seven times!”
    â€œAw, miss!” groaned the class.

    â€œSILENCE!” roared Miss Fitt. “Never speak with your mouth open! Vampires should be seen and not heard! And preferably not seen either!”
    Lee, Bella, and Billy swapped glances.
    â€œNo wonder old Gore was so happy!” whispered Lee.
    â€œSILENCE! Vampires are a lazy bunch of ghoul-for-nothings! Lying around in coffins all day when they could be doing MATH!”
    Grabbing a red marker pen, Miss Fitt stomped up to the big timetable on the classroom wall.
    â€œI’m not teaching any of this useless vampire nonsense. Vampire history indeed!”

    She drew a thick line through vampire history and wrote MATH instead.
    â€œAnd what’s this? Bat lessons?” spat Miss Fitt. “Ridiculous! If vampires were meant to fly they would have wings already, without any of this changing into bats rubbish!”
    So out went bat lessons and in went—more MATH.

    By the time Miss Fitt had finished, the timetable looked like this:

Chapter 4
    Monster Mystery

    â€œI don’t understand,” said Billy. “Mrs. Garlick said Miss Fitt would be nice.”
    â€œThat’s only what the principal at Chaney Street told her,” said Lee.
    â€œBut why would he say it if it wasn’t true?” said Bella. “Mrs. Garlick could have easily found someone else.”
    â€œI know,” said Lee. “Let’s ask Ollie after school.” Ollie Talbot was Lee’s werewolf friend at Chaney Street.
    â€œGood idea,” agreed Bella.

    â€œHe always walks home past the school gate. If we leave on time, we can catch him.”
    Unfortunately Bella spoke too soon. During the very last lesson of the night—math instead of PE (prowling exercises)—Billy accidentally squashed Bella’s toe with his chair leg.
    â€œOuch!” cried Bella. “Careful, Billy!”

    â€œSILENCE!” screeched Miss Fitt. “So. Bella Williams. You again, eh? I might have known!”
    â€œBut