Free Solitary: A Novel by Travis Thrasher Page A

kids around here do for fun.
    "Chris?"
    I don't notice the mess I'm making with the orange until Mom gets my attention. "Yeah?"
    "Do you really think those guys you had a run-in with might have put a gun in your locker?"
    "Yeah. I mean-I don't know. I'm not sure. I don't think it happened accidentally."
    "You need to be careful, okay?"
    "I've got the whole school watching me now. I'm probably safer than I was a couple of days ago."
    "You have a point there."
    I eat a sliver of orange. "You forget how fast I am."
    "Don't talk with your mouth full."
    "Sorry."
    "You can't outrun everybody. I know, Chris. I've tried."
    The phone call around nine o'clock makes me jerk even though I'm upstairs and only hear it faintly.
    I wait.
    It's not like we get many calls.
    And calls at night are never good things. At least not for the Buckley household.
    "Chris!"
    I go downstairs and see the glow of the television as my mother holds the phone.
    I miss our cordless. And my cell phone.
    And my life.
    I don't ask who it is. I spot a reality show on television as I take the receiver and walk back toward the kitchen. "Hello?"
    "Chris?"
    For a moment, I want to let go with a sigh of relief.
    For a moment, I want to tell Jocelyn that it's about time she called, that it's about time she showed that she actually cares, that it's about time.
    "It's Rachel."
    "Hey," I say, surprised.
    Trying not to sound too disappointed.
    "You're a hard man to get hold of."
    "I don't try to be."
    "You need to get the Internet so you have email. Or at least get a cell phone."
    Maybe youd like to loan me the money to do both?
    "Yeah, I know," I say.
    "You doing okay?"
    "Yeah, I'm fine."
    "It's all over school about the gun."
    "Wonderful."
    "It wasn't yours, was it?"
    "Sure. It was part of my collection. Actually, I was just cleaning my shotgun upstairs."
    She laughs. I wish I had that laugh on my iPod. I'd play it whenever I felt awful.
    "What's going to happen?"
    "They said they found out the gun wasn't mine. Like that's a big surprise. They're letting me come back to school."
    "We've been really worried."
    I like her use of the plural.
    "I tried to get Jocelyn to call," Rachel continues. "But of course she won't. She felt pretty bad about how she acted the other day, once she found out the truth."
    "It's fine."
    "I told her-and Chris-I mean, I know you have other things going on. But I feel really, really awful."
    "It's okay."
    "No, I do. We all do. Even Poe feels bad, if you can believe it. She doesn't show it, but really she's got a huge heart."
    "It's really not a big deal."
    "Well-so you're coming to school tomorrow?"
    "Looks like it."
    "I guess we can talk then. But I just-well, there was something I wanted you to think about. Something I wanted to ask you."
    "What's that?"
    Rachel pauses for a moment, and I wonder whether the line got disconnected. "Hello?"
    "No, I'm here. Sorry," she says. "It's just ... well, let me see how to put this."
    "Just say it."
    "Do you still want go the dance?"
    "What?" For a moment, I think she's asking me. Doesn't she already have a date? Wasn't that why she wanted some other couple to come along?
    "Let me rephrase that. Are you still willing to go to the dance? I know you said that you would. That you wanted to."
    "With you?"
    "No, no, no," she says, laughing. "With Jocelyn."
    "Uh, that might be a problem."
    "No, but that's the thing. It's not. She's willing to go."
    "But last time she was talking about it-you were there. You heard what happened."
    "But she didn't know about the note, Chris."
    "It's really fine. I don't need to go."
    "Just think about it, okay? Just-look, there's a lot about this school and this place and Jocelyn that you don't know."
    "I realize that."
    "Yeah, I know, but you don't really realize it. There are things-it would take way too long and it wouldn't make sense. Stuff about Jocelyn. Stuff that's just-I don't even get. Stuff about her family. And about her. She's really changed in the last year,