refugee they took pity. Iâm going to be trained. Proper training! With proper soccer boots and T-shirts and knee pads!â
âKnee pads?â Samyâs eyes are as big as the saucers Mama uses to serve
mansaf
when we have guests over. âHuh! Liar.â
âI swear to God,
ya zalami
. And the trainer is from England with a proper accent and everything!â
â
Englizee?
â
â
Ya zalami
, he drinks more tea than we do!â
âStop lying!â
âI promise on my motherâs grave. The foreigners came to Aida camp with an idea to help the kids and they saw we love to play soccer and decided to sponsor a team. It was just a tiny bit of their budget. And
wallah
, I swear by God, I would rather soccer than food. So do you want to play? Practise with me? We could do it every week. Every day, even!â
Wasimâs been promoted to hero status. The two of them are boring me with their inane sports talk. I huff and puff, not caring in the least about soccer moves and famous players, but theyâre oblivious.
âWhere will you play?â I ask, eventually conceding defeat and deciding to join their conversation.
Wasim jumps up and punches the air. âIn Italy!â
Samy is clearly distressed. He stops, shuffles along and then stops again, grabbing Wasimâs arm. âWell, canât you . . . ask them to let me play, too? Iâm excellent! Hayaat, tell him how excellent I am. Tell him. Go on. Tell him!â
âHeâs terrible,â I say. In a split second I realise that if I donât correct myself Samy will die. Heâs losing his colouring and the oxygen doesnât seem to be reaching his lungs.
âIâm only joking!â I holler. Samy goes from an off-shade of vanilla to pinky-white again.
âIâll see what can be managed,â Wasim says in an important voice, straightening his back with pride. âMaybe you should practise with me for a while.â
âWhat about the coach?â
âWe can play and then Iâll approach him about you.â
âWhatâs he like?â
âIâm his favourite. So Iâm sure heâll take my opinion. Iâm the goalkeeper and Iâm
momtaz
! The coach says so himself.â
âI thought you said he was
Englizee
?â Samy says. âHow is he calling you
momtaz
when he is a tea-drinking
Englizee
?â Samy crosses his arms over his chest and frowns suspiciously at Wasim.
Wasim is unperturbed. âThey learn these words quickly,
ya zalami
. Ali, he is another member of the team, has taught the coach the word
homar
.â
âWhy would you have a donkey on a team that is going to Italy?â I ask, crossing my arms over my chest too.
Wasim hits his forehead impatiently. âOof! Youâre both sending me to an early grave with your questions. We canât all be
momtaz
all the time. Naturally there will be donkey moves now and then. The point is, I will have some influence with the coach to persuade him to let Samy join.â
Samy uncrosses his arms and jumps in the air. âIâm going to Italy!â
âInfluence because I am
momtaz
,â Wasim adds as an afterthought.
âBut youâre so short,â I say.
âI may look small but Iâm fast. Thatâs right,
ya zalami
, Iâm fast.â
âIâm not a
zalami
.â
â
Ya sitti
.â
âIâm not a grandmother.â
â
Ya oghti
.â
âIâm not your sister.â
âYouâre my sister in spirit and I will develop a kidney stone if you donât let me finish!â
âFinish then,
ya zalami
.â
He pauses and looks me in the eye, trying to decide what to make of my comment. Then he grins. âThese legs are light and can run circles around the goal! I hear you. You think Iâm too tiny to stop the ball. You think Iâm exaggerating,â I nod and he waves me silent, âbut trust me,