Gabriella wander onto the ice and drown in the lake, right? The same God who took away their second child before it was even born? But now that theyâve done enough groveling or tithing or whatever, well, they get to have this baby. A consolation prize maybe. This is the God weâre talking about, right?â
She slapped my cheek, hard enough to turn my face. âThatâs for blasphemy,â she explained. âI love you dearly, but youâre still my daughter. Now letâs speak plainly. This has nothing to do with the Abernathys.â
I felt the warm skin of my cheek. âSure thing,â I said. âI donât care about them. I care about Daniel and the Holy Roller bone-heads who think heâs something he isnât.â
My mother sighed. âYou know, Iâve been silly enough to be hopeful lately. That night at the Abernathys, I saw you smile when the baby was born. Your old smile. And these last few days, Iâve been thinking that this, whateverâs happening now, could be a whole new chance for you, Ann. A chance to come back.â
âMaybe I donât want to come back.â
Again she shook her head and gave me that familiar look of disappointment.
âThat crazy guy from St. Judeâs stopped by,â I said. I pointed to the Superman comic on the coffee table next to the Lock Haven catalog. âLeft something on the porch for Daniel.â
âYou saw this man, here on our property?â she asked.
âHold it. You think Iâm lying?â
She took a sip of her wine and tried to act like she wasnât upset. âI think youâre very angry and confused. How do you know Daniel didnât leave it there?â
I pictured that weird cross, which I now regretted breaking. Sheâd never believe me. âI just know,â I said.
âLike you know the people at the church are all crazies?â My mother stared at me, hard-eyed, waiting for an answer.
âGo ahead and say it,â I told her.
âSay what?â
ââJust like your father.â I know itâs what youâre thinking.â
âItâs a dangerous thing to presume, Ann.â
âGreat. So tell me Iâm wrong.â
But instead of answering, my mother turned away and walked back to the window, looking down on Daniel as the last of the light began to leave the sky. I grabbed the course catalog and headed for the trail to my cabin. But then I worried that maybe the Scarecrow really was out there in the dark somewhere, so I swung around the side of the house, quiet as could be. When I rounded the back corner, there were two deer now, each within an armâs reach of Daniel. I froze where I was but still they startled, ears flipping up, eyes flashing to mine, spindly legs springing them back into the forest. Daniel turned and said, âWhatâd you do that for?â
âSorry, Little Man. I just wanted to see how your day went.â
âNot so good,â he said. âMr. Abernathy made me a hot dog for dinner but they didnât have any ketchup.â
âBummer.â
I walked to my brotherâs side and rubbed my hand over his hair. I had the urge to ask if theyâd wanted him to pray.
âAll that baby does is sleep and eat.â
âSheâll play when she gets older.â
âWas I little like that?â
I nodded, thinking of all the nights he slept cuddled next to me in my bed. He was warm and smelled so clean. âSometimes you ate so many peas that your poop was green.â
âGross.â
I held my nose. âTell me about it. I had to clean those diapers.â
âThanks,â he offered.
âMy pleasure,â I said. And really, it was true. Those days before he fell into the ground felt like a fantasy now. Back then, my most serious problems were school projects, chores around the compound, and being a good big sister.
âI could hear you and Mom fighting,â
Jamie McGuire, Teresa Mummert