Free Control by Kayla Perrin Page A

shoulder.
    Oh, shit. He’d come.
    “I’m sorry,” I said. “I shouldn’t have…” I didn’t finish my statement. I was too disappointed. I’d wanted my husband excited, but not so much that he’d ejaculated prematurely.
    I needed him to come inside me.
    “Well, that didn’t turn out as I’d hoped.” Robert rolled onto his back.
    “Don’t feel bad. It’s my fault.”
    “I should have taken my pill.”
    Feeling defeated, I watched as Robert got off the bed and headed for the bathroom.
    You’ve got to find a way to loosen up, I told myself after a minute of wallowing in misery. You’re putting too much pressure on yourself, and on Robert. If you’re ever going to get pregnant, you need to loosen up.
    It’s just that I wanted a baby so badly. I was beginning to feel what Sharon said she had felt after so many miscarriages: that I was a failure as a woman.
    It was a silly thought. In my heart, I knew that. Some things in life were out of our control.
    But still… I wasn’t ready to throw in the towel yet. Itruly believed that a baby was what Robert and I needed to fill that void in our lives, to give our relationship renewed purpose.
    In the meantime, however, I needed to find a way to let myself enjoy whatever sexual interaction Robert and I shared, even if it didn’t end with lovemaking. I was thirty-seven. There was no reason I couldn’t have a baby in my early forties, if that’s how long it took to get pregnant.
    As the day passed, I contemplated getting Robert into the mood for lovemaking later, but I dismissed the thought. With his chest pain scare last night, there was no reason to push it.
    That’s what I told myself as the weekend passed, but that niggling doubt about the whole chest pain story didn’t quite vaporize. Because I never did see Robert take any medication for his supposed gas pains. As he’d prematurely ejaculated, and his breathing had grown more rapid, he hadn’t complained about any burning sensation.
    He even played golf on Sunday.
    He seemed completely back to normal, which was a marked difference to how he’d been the first time around.
    But I let the matter slide. There was no point in belaboring the point. It would only lead to conflict, and I didn’t like conflict with Robert.
    And who was I to say how long the discomfort should last? Each incident could be completely different.
    I concentrated instead on how to spice up our sexlife. Maybe what Robert needed was extra stimulus. Something different and out of the norm.
    Something new and exciting.
    Hell, younger couples tried a variety of tricks to spice things up. Why shouldn’t we?
    By Wednesday, I had an idea.
    As the owner of Distinct Creations, I always arrived at least half an hour earlier than my staff. Spike was my full-time employee, and I had a few part-timers as well.
    Spike was scheduled to help me open this morning, while Maxine was due to work in the afternoon. She was a college student who fit in her part-time hours between classes. Like me, she had always loved arranging flowers for friends and family, and hoped to have a floral business of her own one day.
    As I sipped my morning coffee before Spike arrived, I logged on to the computer and began to check a couple of options for how to spice things up with Robert.
    The sound of footsteps surprised me. I looked up to see Spike approaching from the back of the store. He was decked out with his usual dramatic flair, in a royal-blue blazer, pink scarf wrapped neatly around his neck, and a multicolored hat.
    He was gay and proud of it, and didn’t tone down his flamboyance even in this conservative town.
    “You’re here already?” I asked.
    “Good morning to you, too,” he replied.
    I smiled sweetly at him. “Good morning. I wasn’t expecting you for another fifteen minutes.”
    He made his way around the counter, to where I was staring at the computer screen. “Whatcha looking at?”
    I put a finger on the mouse, about to minimize the screen to