Free Possession by Catrina Burgess Page A

food,
and they spooned out generous helpings of scrambled eggs and bacon. I grabbed a
carton of milk and plastic cutlery and made my way to a table by the nearest
window.
    It was a beautiful day outside. I looked out at
the cloudless blue sky, and for the zillionth time wished I wasn’t in here. I
didn’t want to hear the low murmurs of the other patients sitting at the tables
around me. I wanted to be out there ,
free. More than anything, I wanted to be there with Luke.
    I ate until I was full and slipped a packet of
salt into my pocket. I got up and piled my tray with the others on a metal cart
sitting against the wall.
    Today, like every day I spent in here, would be
filled with extreme boredom. Nurse Caroline was waiting for me outside the
cafeteria. She followed me into the common room. Thankfully, my shadow didn’t
follow me across the room, but instead sat at a table by the door.
    Apparently I was free to roam around the room, as
long as I was under her watchful eye. I spotted Dean in his wheelchair over by
a window. Dressed in a hospital gown, he had a blanket across his legs. I
walked over to him and sat down in a nearby chair.
    No one was within earshot. I leaned in and
whispered. “Luke, I miss you.” I knew from our nightly visits that he hadn’t
been able to hear me during the day, but he’d been growing in strength. Part of
me hoped he would hear me this time. I
wrapped my arms around myself. “I wish you were here with me right now.”
    I watched his face, looking for a sign—any
sign—of understanding. There was none. Dean’s eyes were wide, and he staring
off into space. His mouth was slack. Although it didn’t look like it, I knew Luke
was in there, waiting to come out.
    There has to be a way to free him. The rest of our
lives together can’t be spent in three-hour intervals.
    A sudden rush of anger swept through me. I could
feel it pounding through my blood. I took a deep breath and forced it back,
remembering once again that the rituals had changed me. They made me darker and
more violent. Because of the darkness now inside me, I’d killed without a
second thought. I’d become a murderer and a fool. Rushing in, so full of hatred
and the need for revenge, not caring about my life or anyone else’s…
    Luke died trying to keep me alive.
    What I had become scared me, and now I was doing
my best to try and keep those dark and violent feelings at bay. I wouldn’t let
them master me anymore. I had to try and remember who I used to be. I swore I
would never be so reckless again.
    It was only after losing Luke that I realized how
much I cared about him. I had tried to deny it, to him and to myself, but I was
in love with him.
    Luke had always known how he felt. He told me he
wanted me to stay with him after I’d complete the rituals, but I’d been unsure
of my feelings for him. I’d guarded my heart, trying to keep myself from
getting hurt. But when I saw him lying there on the ground, the spark of life
gone from his eyes… Only then had I realized how much I truly cared for him.
    I reached out and put my hand on Dean’s arm. Luke is here with me. He was back in the
world of the living, and I thanked the Goddess for it every day.
    A sudden argument across the room interrupted my
thoughts, but the orderlies quickly broke it up. The patients seemed unusually
twitchy today.
    Caroline motioned to her watch. “You have therapy
in an hour.”
    Therapy. An unpleasant office visit with the psych
doctor would be happening today. I wasn’t looking forward to it. Being forced
to sit across from a psychologist—one who expected you to spill all your
deepest, darkest secrets and fears—was, at least for me, a form of
torture. At each session, Dr. Barton stared across his desk at me, pad and pen
in hand, expecting me to tell him something. But my secrets, my fears, the
awful things that happened to my family, going through the horrendous death
dealer rituals—these were not things I wanted to talk to