Free The Flawed Mistress (The Summerville Journals) by Margaret Brazear Page A

looked awful; I was still in
shock.
        “My Lady?”   She said with a puzzled frown. 
“What is wrong?  You look as though you had seen a ghost.”
       
“I have," I replied, "the ghost of my innocence.  Lucy,
I..............”  But my voice was shaking so much I could barely speak.
       
She did something then for which I will always be grateful.  She put her
arms around me and held me close as though I were a frightened child, and that
is just what I felt like – a frightened child once more, indeed a terrified
child just wanting her mother.  But there was no mother, there was no one
and I thanked God for Lucy.
       
The Earl did not come.  I had my sleeping draught ready, but as I
suspected, he had no interest in raping a full grown woman and after an hour or
more of waiting, Lucy lie down beside me intending to sleep with me.
       
“My Lady,” she said.  “It does not look as though His Lordship is coming
tonight.  Would you like me to stay with you?”
       
I nodded.  I still did not feel confident enough to actually talk, my
voice shook every time I tried, but I found comfort with this simple servant
girl that night.  I did not sleep though; I was afraid that the monster
might come in the night.  I could not think of him as anything else, only
‘the Monster’.
       
In the morning he came and dismissed Lucy with a snap of his ugly, gnarled
fingers.
       
“My Lady,” he began as soon as she had gone, “I expect you are wondering why
you were left alone last night.”
       
I made no reply.  He obviously had no idea that I knew why I had been left alone, he obviously had no idea who I was.
       
“I have managed without a wife my entire life and the only reason I have one
now is that I need the help of a woman.  There will be no bedchamber
activity between you and I .”  He paused and
frowned at me, looking for a reaction but I kept my face impassive. 
“Don’t you want to know why?”
       
“Perhaps because I am a little older than your normal taste,” I replied
harshly.  I did not bother with his title as I did not think he deserved
any such courtesy.
       
He looked startled as though that was the very last thing he expected to
hear.  Perhaps it was.
       
“Have we met before?”  He asked at last.
       
“Oh, yes, we have met before.  I believe you cheated my drunken father out
of his property as well as his little daughter,” I replied, watching him
carefully.  “I believe you killed him.”
       
He looked horrified for a moment, then he frowned as
though trying to remember.
       
“Rachel, is it not?”  He asked at last.  “You see, I do remember
you.  You were a beautiful child, absolutely stunning.  Well, well,
well, fate certainly moves in mysterious ways.”  He smiled then, showing
gaps between his blackened teeth.  “It was not I who murdered your father,
by the way.  It was my colleague, Mr Carter.  He is dead now and the
house had to go to pay off debts.”
       
“So, it seems I owe a debt of gratitude to Mr Carter then,” I said
sarcastically.  “What do you want with me, Sir?”
       
“I need the help of a woman, I told you.  You will see.”
       
Then he left me to wonder what he wanted help with.  I could imagine
though and the idea terrified me.
       
When Lucy returned, and while she helped me to dress, I decided it was time I
confided in someone.
       
“When I was a child,” I began hesitantly, “just ten years old in fact, I was
taken in exchange for one thousand gold pieces paid to my father.”
       
I stopped, wondering if I would be able to go on, but Lucy said nothing. 
I felt her hand clasp mine though and give it a comforting squeeze.
       
“I was raped repeatedly that day by two men.  One of them was my new
husband.”
        “Oh, My Lady!”   She cried in disbelief. 
“This must be the worst day of your life.”
       
“Not quite,” I replied.  “But