got out her cell and called him. After a few rings, his distinctly deep voice came on the line.
“It’s great you called back, Hanna. I wanted to make sure you were OK,” he explained. “I was concerned about you.”
“I’m alright,” Hanna said, feeling anything but. All over she still tingled from Damian’s rough, deliciously wicked taking. But it went deeper than that; her head was in a whirl about her true feelings and where they stood.
She sighed deeply and added, “I mean I don’t really understand all that’s happening, but I’m getting it together. Chet, you need to be straight with me. Just how long have you been cheating on me?”
He let out an impatient sound. “Hanna, you had this infatuation with your…”
“What in the world? Chet, I was faithful to you all the years we were together. I loved you. And you could just turn around and pull that shit on me.” She couldn’t help the anger and betrayal, remembering how she’d felt when he’d walked out with that young spritely thing.
“I never wanted to go over this, not again,” Chet began heavily. “But, Hanna I heard you call him name when we had sex. This happened more than a few times. I tried to ignore it at first, but then even in your sleep, you spoke his name.”
Hanna sat back heavily on the pillows, her body going weak. “What?”
Chet went on relentlessly, “And then there was all that dressing up you did for him. You never cared to dress up for me. What was even worse were the constant trips – you couldn’t seem to wait to go. I know I hurt you, and I’m sorry. It just couldn’t work out anymore with him between us. Just think about it, Hanna. And how you’d react in my shoes; that just with hearing his voice on the line, makes your breath catch. How do you think that made me feel?”
It was Hanna’s turn to feel apologetic, all the while her mind reeling. She called Damian’s name while she had sex with Chet…even while she slept. This whole fixation with him had gone even deeper than she realized. Shit.
“I’m really sorry Chet. This is a shock to me. I know I’m not in love with him.” To her own ears, that declaration sound half-hearted, and she hated to acknowledge that.
“The thing about fighting the inevitable is that you only make it worse,” Chet said patiently. “I saw the signs but told myself it didn’t matter, that you weren’t like other women. But the fact remains that you couldn’t be true to yourself so how could you be the same to me?”
Hanna chewed on her lip hard. She hadn’t been true to herself. She knew that now. In a ‘safe’ relationship, she’d used it as her crutch to deny what she felt inside for Damian. He engulfed her soul, and now her body was his as well. He’d laid claim to all that was feminine and submissive within her and that was why it had been so easy all these months to do his will, even when she said she’d hated it. But was that love?
“I never meant to hurt you,” she told Chet quietly at last. “Damian is…different. I’ve never really met anyone like him and I truly didn’t want to fall. I can only wish the best for you. I hope she treats you right.”
She heard his gentle laugh. “And I hope you’ll finally put your head right and go for what you want this time. You deserve it.”
Did she really? Hanna wanted to laugh self-deprecatingly at that. No woman deserved a man like Damian Rush. You could desire him all you want but it was a fantasy best enjoyed from afar. Unluckily for her though, she let herself forget every element of survival tactics she’d learned over the last few months. Falling for Damian was a luxury she couldn’t afford and she knew exactly why.
This was just another conquest for him. He said it himself: I can have you when I want. He knew exactly the hold he had on her. Men like him thrived on the power rush they got from claiming that elusive prize. And yet now that he’d had her, he had no intention of letting