Free Dangerous Surrender by Carrie Kelly Page B

days. Jack consumed me with his lusty advances again. And I gave in – again.
    Dammit! My heart wasn’t prepared for this. For him.
    The air settled around us, thick and reeking of sex. Droplets of sweat clung to our flesh. We’d need another shower in the morning, but I had bigger things to worry about at the moment. Australian things.
    Slowly, he pulled his cock free. His heat dripped out over my thighs, dripping on the sheets, and he wrapped his arms around my waist anyway. Peppered my shoulders with kisses before he pressed his lips into the back of my damp head.
    “Tell me you want me, love. Can you do that?” he asked, his voice gruff.
    Bang. Bang. Bang. The pounding of my heart shook me to the core.
    “Why?” I asked in a tiny voice.
    “Because I want to hear it. Look at what we’ve been through, Mattie? Yet you react exactly like you did the first time on the plane. You melt in my arms. Your body sings every time I touch it. I can feel your need – your desire. I know you feel it too.”
    Chewing my bottom lip, I shook my head. I couldn't tell him how I felt without revealing everything. How I lusted after him for years! My stupid, schoolgirls crush on a man way out of my league. Whatever this was to him – it wasn’t the same for me. His pride might be on the line, but whatever was left of my heart would crumble when he broke it off.
    And I knew he would. Steven had.
    Fingers dug into my flesh. “Is this about your ex, Mattie? Do you still love him?”
    Did I still love Steven? When I thought of him, it hurt because of how stupid I’d been. How naïve and trusting. How much work I put into our wedding just to have him leave me for another woman. But the heartbreak damaged my ego more than anything else.
    It strained my self-confidence. If Steven didn’t want me, who would?
    But I didn’t explain that to Jack. He wasn’t Fattie Mattie. He couldn’t understand.
    “It’s about him, right?”
    Pressing my lips together, I held in any words I wanted to say. It was better this way. He’d think it was about Steven and leave me alone. That way things would go back to the way they were before. He wouldn’t be saddled with me.
    Suddenly, Jack loosened his hold. His fingers trailed off my skin and he turned his back to mine.
    “Good night,” he grumbled.
    This is for the best, Tilda . I told myself, but the tears slipped onto the pillow and I could do nothing to stop them.

7
     
     
    Jack found a boat traveling to Chiang Mai the next morning. He hardly looked at me as he took my hand and helped me on board. At least it was a large motorboat and not a little wooden rowboat like we used before.
    Clinging to my bag, I sat inside the tiny cabin and pulled my legs to my chest. It would all be over soon, barring any interference from the men chasing us. I'd get to the consulate and take a plane back to America. Back to New York and my safe, boring life. Alone.
    Jack would go on saving the world without me weighing him down.
    I should’ve been happy about the decision, but watching him slumped in the seat next to me hurt more than I imagined. Why did he have to frown like that? Or avoid my eyes? It wasn’t his heart that was breaking!
    Scowling, I turned and looked out the dirty window at the countryside. We buzzed down the muddy brown river past jungle and grassland. This was an adventure, no matter how I looked at it. And I didn’t hate it – even it was completely contrary to my original plans for this trip.
    Well, I didn’t like being shot at, but I’d seen a side of Thailand few foreigners probably caught. A lovely wedding. Charming locals. A boat ride down the river. If Jack wasn’t mad at me, I would have enjoyed all of it.
    “How long will it take us to get there?” I asked after the silence stretched on for too long.
    He cleared his throat and smoothed his hands over his pants. “Eight hours at the most. We’ll probably stop for lunch in a village and continue on. I doubt they’re watching