Free Fairy School Drop-out by Meredith Badger Page B

think you’re an expert because you’ve read all the fairy books and seen all the fairy movies. Well, forget all that stuff, because it’s probably wrong. Most humans wouldn’t recognise a fairy, even if there were one living right next door to them. And there might well be. For some reason, most humans think that fairies live in toadstools. Let’s get one thing straight right from the start. They don’t . They live in houses, just like humans. Don’t believe it? Have a look at the size difference between a fairy and a toadstool:

    Would you want to live in a toadstool? Exactly. Neither would a fairy.
    1. Although fairies are naturally very small (about the size of a ten-year-old’s hand) they can stretch themselves up to human proportions using an Anatomical Resizing Machine. They have to do this every week, however, because fairies soon start shrinking back to their normal size.
    2. Humans often live in the same streets as fairies without realising. This is just the way fairies like it. Imagine if humans knew that they had fairies living next door – they would be constantly hassling them to grant wishes and fix things. Fairies prefer to choose for themselves whose wishes – and which wishes – they grant.
    3. Most fairies aren’t born knowing magic. They learn it at school. Then after three years’ study, they receive their Fairy Licence which qualifies them to do spells.
    4. To avoid being recognised, fairies keep their wings tucked away under their clothes or hidden in special wing-hiding backpacks. Sometimes, if you look carefully, you can see the slots in their clothes where the wings usually pop through.
    5. There are boy fairies as well as girl fairies. Boy fairies can’t fly or do magic but they are often excellent cooks. And here’s a fairy fact that might really surprise you:
    6. Not all fairies like being fairies.
    Elly was one such fairy. She didn’t just not like being a fairy, she hated it. She hated it more than paper cuts. More than cold baths. More than jam and anchovy sandwiches. What exactly did she hate about it? Everything. The stuff she was meant to wear. The things she was meant to learn. But most of all, she hated flying. Flying might look like fun but Elly found it tiring and boring. Besides, skateboarding was so much more fun.
    Elly had spent a lot of time working on her skateboard. She only had the standard fairy model – the Star Grazer I – but it was even faster than a Star Grazer III because of all the extra work she’d done on it. She’d saved up for rainbow speed wheels that spun so fast they left a rainbow pattern behind them on the path. As a finishing touch, Elly had painted a cool silver comet across the board. Skateboarding was definitely Elly’s favourite way to get around.

    So the moment she got around the corner from her house Elly got her skateboard out of her bag. She was just about to ride off when she remembered what her mother had said: Catch the Fairy Flock to school.
    The Flock was another thing Elly hated about being a fairy. It was the way most fairies got to school, travelling in one big group disguised as a cloud. The passengers had to wear cloud coats – floaty, white garments that looked like they were made from cotton-wool, with slots in the back for wings to stick through. As the Flock passed overhead, fairies waiting on the ground flew up to join it. From a distance the Flock looked just like a soft white cloud, drifting across the sky. Most humans wouldn’t think twice about it. But then most humans aren’t very observant. If they paid more attention they would notice that some clouds travel very rapidly across the sky. If they listened more carefully they might even hear voices seemingly coming from nowhere, saying things like ‘Ow! Stop pushing!’ and ‘Wait ... this is my stop!’
    Elly couldn’t decide what to do. She knew she should do what her mum