Free City of Steel (Chaos Awakens Book 3) by Heath Pfaff Page B

tried, but he should have tried harder.  If he hadn't secretly wanted her to be at his side, perhaps he could have convinced her to stay behind.  Selfishly he tried to pinpoint the latest moment possible he might have left her behind and still had her with him for as long as possible. Maybe he could have left her just before they’d entered those disturbing gray passages, but he knew he should have left her behind before then. She was a good person and hadn’t deserved anything she’d seen or endured because of him. 
    "I'm going to set her free." Xandrith said aloud, merely to hear the words. "It doesn't matter what I have to do, I'm going to see that she's alright."
    "Strong words, Xan, but she may be beyond us.  You need to be ready to accept that."  It was the younger Xan again.  He'd taken up position at Xan's side and was marching through the underbrush as well, making a show of pushing aside brush and stepping over fallen branches. 
    Xan flashed a frown. "You should know me better than that. Once I've set my mind to something, I see it through."
    "Of course, but some things just aren't possible. You freed her once, but it took the shattering of two minds to do so, and you don't have those kinds of resources to work with anymore. Our magic is gone, and our mind is already broken, or have you forgotten that you're talking to yourself right now?"
    Xandrith shrugged as though the gesture might dispel his illusionary doppelganger. "I know I'm talking to myself. I know you're not real. You’ve made it abundantly clear that you're not actually here, but being broken doesn't mean I can just give up. Kassa wouldn't give up on me."
    "Kassa might not exist anymore.  She might be gone forever."  The younger Xan's protest was half-hearted at best.  He knew he was fighting a losing battle. 
    "And she might not.  That's what matters.  There is a chance I can save her, and I'm going to try.  While I can still breathe and carry a knife I will not give in to despair."  The words gave Xan a sense of purpose as he spoke them.  The future was uncertain, and the tasks that lay ahead might seem daunting, but Xandrith was determined.  He'd stood against the Order of Mages and survived, and he'd stood toe to toe with nightmares beyond imagining and come out on top.  Xan wasn't going to let some piddling god-thing get in his way.  He still had the bone dagger, and it was going to taste the blood of the god who'd taken Kassa away from him if it was the last thing Xan did.  It wasn’t the most practical of weapons, but it would serve at least one purpose.  God or not, if it could die, Xan would figure out how to make it happen.  Killing things was something he was good at. 
    Xan and his fragmented mind continued their journey back to the caravan in relative silence, accompanied only by the crunch of Xan's footsteps across the forest floor and the sound of the wind passing through the still mostly bare branches of the trees. The assassin would have given anything for some conversation to take his mind from the horrors he’d just witnessed, and the memories that haunted his every footfall, but he had nothing but empty miles to keep him company.
     
    The assassin realized something was wrong with the camp while he was still nearly an hour out from the site.  By the time he'd come closer, he was certain that trouble lay ahead.  The smoke he'd first followed to the camp was gone.  He had warned the men of the caravan that their fires were dangerous and might attract unwanted attention, but they hadn't heeded him. Now as Xan drew near, their fires were out.  The sun had risen, but the day was bitter cold, and Xan knew those fires hadn't been put out intentionally.  Something had come upon the camp and those fires had been silenced by something.
    The only question that remained in Xan's mind as he marched towards his goal was what exactly had come upon the caravan.  So far north it didn't seem likely that it would be