Free Fat Off Sex and Violence by Shane McKenzie Page A

He stopped bouncing and scratched his head. “Can I ask you something?”
                “Of course, Master.”
                “If you can eat animal sex, then why did you need me to wake you up? I mean, don’t animals mate all the time out here?”
                Mary Jane giggled. “Doesn’t work like that. I need a person, a human. Something with a soul.”   
                Gary nodded, shrugged. “I have an idea,” he said. “Something to teach these people a lesson.”
                “I like the sound of this.”
                The idea had struck Gary in the middle of drawing a love scene for Kronos the Destroyer that morning—and he had no problem getting the proportions right this time.
    Sunday morning. All the happy little people would be piling into their houses of God. Gary hesitated at first, thought to himself that those specific people never did anything to harm him, never bothered him in any way. But they never went out of their way to know him either, never invited him to any parties or get-togethers, never showed any interest in his life. It’s true , Gary thought, that most of these people don’t even know me. But they’re all the same. I am the master now, and they all must pay. They all must know what it feels like to be embarrassed, to be laughed at.
                “Can feedlings go into churches?”
                “You read too much fiction, Master. A church is nothing more than four walls and a ceiling, filled with lost souls desperate for answers.” She stood, stretched. “And I’m very curious now.”
                There was a moment of silence as they both looked at each other, both smiling. Then Mary Jane ran toward him, dove into his lap, and they laughed and laughed.
      
    ***
     
    Cars packed the Saint Ignatius Church’s parking lot. Gary and Mary Jane weaved through them, making their way toward the entrance. The cars were mostly SUVs, station wagons, and vans. Vehicles big enough for a good-sized family. Cross necklaces dangled from rearview mirrors, Jesus Loves You and similar stickers covered the bumpers like cold sores.
                “I sure hope they still keep the kids separate,” Gary said. “They used to when I was a kid, made me go to Bible study. But it’s been years. I don’t want anything to happen to the little kids, they’re—”
                “Innocent? Nobody’s truly innocent.”
    It wasn’t until they actually arrived at the church and saw all the vehicles that Gary even thought about the possibility of kids. The teenagers could all burn in hell. In fact, he’d been thinking about making a little stop at Sonny’s school Monday morning, make them all impregnate one another. But the little kids, they didn’t deserve punishment. Having to live with their shit-for-brains parents was punishment enough.       
    “Well, if there’s any kids, leave them alone, all right? I’m your master, I command it.”
                She chuckled. “Whatever you say, Master.”
                They stepped to the front doors, swung them open. The preacher’s voice exploded, his sermon playing loud over some speakers aligned along the walls. He was old, maybe sixty, but his voice had power, rattled Gary’s chest. As they entered, the happy Christians turned to address him. He caught a few smiles, a few nods, but mostly scowls and dirty looks.
                He looked down at himself and realized he was filthy, probably brought a thundercloud of stink into the church with him.
                But the preacher never faltered, never paused. As he spoke, the people nodded, some wept. They clutched their Bibles, rubbed their thumbs over souvenir crosses. Behind the preacher sat a huge wooden crucifix with an emaciated Jesus hanging from it with outstretched arms. Metal bolts protruded from his wrists and ankles.