Free Mrs. Dole Is Out of Control! by Dan Gutman Page A

important,” I whispered to Ryan. “That’s almost like being president of the United States.”
    Ryan slid farther under his desk.
    Andrea crossed her arms and said, “Humphf.” Whenever somebody crossestheir arms and says “Humphf,” it means they’re mad. Nobody knows why.
    â€œGood morning!” said Mrs. Dole. “Are you kids excited about the end of school?”
    â€œYes!” said all the boys.

    â€œNo!” said all the girls.
    â€œAre you excited about moving up to third grade?” Mrs. Dole asked.
    â€œYes!” said all the girls.
    â€œNo!” said all the boys.
    â€œI was thinking. Wouldn’t it be nice to give presents to Mrs. Daisy?” said Mrs. Dole. “She worked so hard for you all year. What would you like to give her?”
    â€œI’ll give her a skateboard,” I said.
    â€œThat’s what you want, Arlo!” Andrea said, rolling her eyes.
    â€œTry to think of something Mrs. Daisy would want,” Mrs. Dole said. “What does she like more than anything?”
    â€œFlowers?” suggested Neil the nude kid.
    â€œShoes?” said Michael.
    Suddenly I got the greatest idea in the history of the world.
    â€œBonbons!” I shouted.
    â€œYeah! Bonbons!” everybody agreed.
    Bonbons are yummy chocolate treats. Mrs. Daisy eats them all the time. (Well, not while she’s taking a shower. That would be weird.) She told us that she can eat a whole box of bonbons in one sitting.
    Everybody thought giving Mrs. Daisy bonbons was a great idea. Neil the nude kid said I should get the No Bell Prize. That’s a prize they give out to people who don’t have bells.
    â€œOkay. Your homework is to buy apresent for Mrs. Daisy and bring it to school tomorrow,” Mrs. Dole said. “Any questions?”
    â€œAre we going to get more homework in third grade?” asked Emily.
    â€œI’m not sure,” Mrs. Dole said. “Next year you’ll learn the multiplication tables, and you’re going to learn all about—”
    Mrs. Dole didn’t get the chance to finish her sentence, because that’s when the strangest thing in the history of the world happened. She started crying!
    â€œYou kids are growing up so fast,” Mrs. Dole blubbered. “I can hardly believe that my little baby Ryan is going to be a third grader. It seems like onlyyesterday he was in diapers.”
    Everybody looked at Ryan, who was still hiding under his desk.
    â€œYou wore diapers yesterday?” I asked him.
    Mrs. Dole continued. “I remember when all my baby Ryan could say was ‘Goo-goo-ga-ga,’ and all he could do was pee. I had to wipe his little bottom for him. And now look at him.”
    Everybody looked at Ryan. Mrs. Dole grabbed a tissue from Mrs. Daisy’s desk and blew her nose into it. Into the tissue, that is. Blowing your nose into a desk would be weird.
    â€œI’m sorry. I get so emotional over mybaby,” she said, and she ran out the door.
    â€œIs she gone?” Ryan asked.
    â€œYeah, you can come out from under your desk now,” Michael said.

    â€œYour mom is weird,” I told Ryan.
    â€œI know,” he replied. “She goes overboard a lot.”
    â€œShe jumps out of boats?” I asked. “That’s really weird.”
    There were no grown-ups in the room, so I got up and shook my butt at the class. Some of the kids laughed. Then me and Michael and Neil teased Ryan for allthat peeing he did when he was a baby.
    â€œThat’s what all babies do, Arlo,” Andrea said.
    â€œWell, I’m never having a baby,” I told her.
    â€œYou can’t have a baby, Arlo,” Andrea said. “You’re a boy!”
    Whew! That was a relief. If babies just pee all day, I wouldn’t want to have one anyway.
    We had to stop talking about peeing because guess who came into the room at that very second?
    It was Mrs. Daisy!

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The Good