Free Dearly Depotted by Kate Collins Page A

Jack.”
    Claymore scoffed. “That happened a long time ago.”
    “Four years isn’t that long,” Jillian said, leaning back in her chair, “and Jack did ruin Vince’s dream of getting into the FBI. The poor guy was devastated.”
    I smelled a motive. “Tell me about their feud.”
    “It happened during my junior year down at IU Bloomington,” Claymore explained. “Vince blackballed Jack to keep him out of our fraternity, so Jack stole a professor’s car, set it on fire, and made it look like Vince did it. Vince spent a week in jail and was nearly convicted. He was eventually cleared of the charges, but the arrest was enough to disqualify him for any government job.”
    “Jack is four years older than you,” I said. “Why was he at IU at the same time?”
    “He’d go a year, drop out a year, switch to a different school, change majors—”
    “You know how that goes,” Jillian said helpfully.
    One little push against the hinge of that chair leg . . . “I only changed majors once, Jill, and I never dropped out of college.” I turned back to Claymore. “Did Jack ever finish school?”
    “Up here, at the extension.”
    “Has Vince ever said anything more about the incident?” I asked Claymore.
    “Not to me. Vince is happily married now and working as head butcher at the Meat Market.”
    Jillian instantly shushed him. “Keep your voice down. My mother is a member of PETA. Besides, how can someone be happy when all they do is chop up dead animals?”
    “He makes a good living,” Claymore said patiently. “He doesn’t need to be happy.”
    That was typical Osborne thinking. “Does Vince strike you as a killer?” I asked him.
    “Absolutely not,” Claymore said.
    “But he does have a bad temper,” Jill reminded him.
    “He keeps it under control,” Claymore countered.
    She glared at him. “Usually.”
    “So a couple of times down at school Vince got a little carried away,” Claymore said. “He was drunk, and some people are mean when they’re drunk.”
    “Are you mean when you’re drunk?” Jillian asked, her hackles all set to rise.
    “As you know, dearest, I don’t get drunk. I’ve never been so much as tipsy a day in my life.”
    Jillian beamed at me as she slipped her arm through Claymore’s and gave it an affectionate squeeze. “Isn’t he priceless?”
    I smiled back, wishing my life had been Pryce-less.
    “I’ll point Vince out,” Jillian said and turned to look around the room.
    “He left after the ceremony,” Claymore reminded her. “Don’t you remember? He came through the receiving line and said he had to go home to check on his wife. She had a migraine.”
    At that moment, my parents returned and my father said to the newlyweds, “You’re all set.”
    Jillian clapped. “Super! Thank you, Uncle Jeff.”
    “Jillian, do you have two minutes?” my mother asked hopefully. “I want to give you and Claymore your gift.”
    “Not now, Mom,” I said. “They have a plane to catch.”
    “I’m truly sorry we can’t stay,” Claymore said. “We’ll open our presents as soon as we get back from Hawaii. As it is now, we’ll just make our flight.”
    “Let’s not be too hasty,” Jillian said, smiling at my mother. She never could turn down a present.
    “I promise this will only take a moment,” my mother told them, motioning frantically to my brother Jordan, who had been trying in vain to hide behind his wife, Kathy. He carried over a three-foot-tall, foil-wrapped box and set it on the floor in front of them. The rest of the Knight clan gathered to watch, and all those bright red heads drew the Osbornes like moths to lit matches. By the time my cousin had ripped off the ribbon and torn her way through the wrapping paper, most of the people in the room had gathered around her.
    The moment Jillian lifted the top off the box I scrunched my eyes shut. Around me, guests gasped, and a woman nearby whispered, “Look at that!”
    I knew I’d have to look eventually, so I