Free Pulled Under (Sixteenth Summer) by Michelle Dalton Page B

described.
    “It’s easy to talk to you,” he continues. “You’re the kind of girl I can just be myself with. That’s nice.”
    And the final verdict is in.
    “Easy to talk to,” “kind of girl,” and “nice” are all codes I know how to decipher. I’m the confidante, the girl he feels comfortable talking to about the girl he really likes. Unfortunately, this falls into the category of “been here, done this.” My heart feels like it’s sinking into my stomach just like my feet sank into the sand.
    T hat’s it?” an exasperated Sophie exclaims when I finish recapping my day with Ben. “That’s the end of the story?”
    “That’s it,” I say.
    We’re sitting in a booth at Mama Tacos sharing a plate of nachos.
    “You bailed too early,” she says.
    “I hung in there as long as I could,” I reply.
    Nicole has an order of chips and guacamole and slides into the booth next to me.
    “I still think he’s totally into you,” Sophie says.
    “He sees me the way every guy sees me,” I say. “As the one who makes for a really good friend and has a great personality. Besides, I think his parents getting divorced has turned him against the whole concept.”
    “The concept of what? Marriage?” Sophie asks. “I’m not saying he wants to settle down for life, but I think he’s interested. And if he is spooked because of what’s going on with his parents, then you’re going to have to be superbrave like my girl Nicole over here.”
    She nods toward Nicole right as she chomps down on a huge guac-and-salsa-covered chip.
    “What makes Nicole courageous?” Then it hits me. “Wait a second—did you talk to Cody?”
    Nicole grins and nods as she finishes the chip.
    “I want details!” I say.
    “It’s not that big a deal,” she says.
    “Liar, liar, skinny jeans on fire,” says Sophie. “It’s a huge deal.”
    “Tell me,” I say. “What finally inspired you to break out of your years-long silence?”
    She looks me right in the eye and says, “You.”
    “How’s that?”
    “I’ve never seen you as happy as you looked with Ben,” she says. “I thought maybe that could happen for me. So I just called him up and asked him if he wanted to catch a movie. Just like that. No plan. No script. No stalking.”
    My cheeks hurt from how much I’m smiling. “Oh my God! What did he say?”
    She almost blushes at the answer. “Yes.”
    I really am happy for Nicole. She has liked Cody forever, and it is amazing that she had the courage to ask him out. But I’d be lying if I didn’t say that a part of me was dying inside. I inspired her because I looked so happy, but the happiness was all based on hope. Not reality. I was happy because I didn’t know better, and that makes me feel like some tourist who just bought a surfboard for seven hundred dollars.
    O ver the next two weeks I see Ben twice for summer camp. I’m polite, but I try to keep the conversation to a minimum. I just can’t shake the sting of the conversation we had. Normally, I don’t mind being the confidante, but with Ben it’s different. I need more.
    At the surfing class he comes up to me before we stretch and asks, “Do you think we can do another lesson this week? I still feel like a fish out of water around here.”
    I shrug and tell him, “It’s hard to say. I’ve got a lot going on with my parents this week.”
    “Okay,” he replies, sounding a little disappointed. “Maybe next week.”
    “Sure, we’ll see.”
    I continue using my evasive skills the next week, however, and when he makes a joke about calling something by the wrong name, I just give a halfhearted laugh.
    “Right. That’s funny.”
    I feel like a total drama queen about it, but it’s just so hard. I like him so much and am utterly embarrassed by my inability to navigate these waters. At the end of the lesson I almost go over to him to talk, but I notice that he’s talking to Kayla and I hear her invite him to a party. I’ve lived here my whole life