Free The Woman He Married by Julie Ford Page B

out of the ordinary.” Maybe I could turn it back on Lori, “Get your mind out of the gutter; only a sick, twisted person would see a penis when clearly it’s a banana.” But the increasing sound of hushed voices from the auditorium told Josie that she really had no hope of minimizing, much less, denying the fact that she’d screwed up.
    Amidst the growing commotion out in the audience, up on stage, the dance continued as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. Josie’s despair deepened as the narrator read.
    “So whenever young Jessie got veggies to eat, she knew it would lead to a special treat…”
    And as the child dressed like a white jar burst on to the stage and bowed, causing marshmallow cream to spill, which was supposed to be a good laugh, Josie knew no one in the audience was paying attention to what she thought would be the crowning moment of the play. All of her hard work, and for what? All people were going to remember was that their children were dancing with penises.
    Then, just as the actor playing the cream gave the audience a befuddled look, Lori burst through the back stage door behind Josie and Gina.
    Josie’s tired body started to ache. Why?
    “I want to talk   to you!” Lori’s voice was low but her rage still managed to vibrate through Josie’s ears. Turning, she saw Lori pointing an angry tense finger toward the stage door.
    Now she finally decides she wants to talk to me , Josie mused.
    Once the three of them emerged into the empty corridor, and before the door had a chance to click shut, Lori started in, saying, “I always knew you were a troublemaker, Josie McClain, but ruining a third-grade play just to get a few laughs… Well, that’s pushin ’ it even for you.” Her brown beady eyes were darker than usual.
    “Look, I didn’t mean... It’s just a misunderstanding, that’s all.” Josie tried to explain but couldn’t find the right words.
    “Oh yeah? Well that misunderstanding’s going to cost us,” Lori said, fuming. “Do you think any of those parents are going to put their hard-earned money down to buy a…a porno film?”
    Porno film? I wonder what she’s been watching after the kids go to bed?   “I’m truly sorry. It’s just that…” Josie tried again. Damn, what were those excuses I was going to use? “Oh, you must have a sick mind.” No, there was more, I’m sure—
    “What?” Fuming, Lori didn’t let Josie finish. “Mark my words! You will never, and I mean never , volunteer at this school again.” She stomped her foot and pointed a stubby finger in Josie’s face. “You’re not fit to mop these floors.”
    Gina growled, “That’s it.” Nudging Josie out of the way, she stepped forward. “Listen, sister. You’ve crossed a line here. You don’t get to decide—”
    “You stay out of this,” Lori said, taking a step forward, both fists balled at her side. “Everyone knows you’re some sort of atheist-liberal.”
    “And damn proud of it!” Gina came back as she started toward Lori with an open palm.
    Josie could hear John’s voice in her head, saying, “First you embarrass our family by dressing our son as a penis and then you get in a fight with Lori Watson—I play golf with her husband at the club, you know.”
    Josie decided to intervene. “Okay, I think everyone needs to take a step back.” As much as she would enjoy seeing Lori Watson get slapped, she could see the headline now:
     
Soccer Moms Clash Over Third-Grade Production When One Mom, Jocelyn Bearden, wife of Judicial Candidate John Bearden, designs costumes that resemble male genitalia.
     
    From the auditorium Lori’s daughter recited her final lines, “ And I’ll always eat my veggies…ALL BY MYSELF!” indicating that the performance had come to an end.
    Exhaling loudly, Lori shot Josie one last “death” stare and said, “Now I have to get back in there and pretend like everything’s okay.” Stalking past them, she headed back to the stage.
    “Should