Free Everything Unexpected by Caroline Nolan Page B

spoken.”
    “At all? Not even after?”
    I feel a flush of heat come up my neck, the temperature in my office seemingly veering towards tropical.
    “I kind of left while he was still asleep,” I confess.
    Holly’s face remains still for a few seconds before I watch her try and bite back laughter. “You snuck out?” A light chuckle escapes her lips.
    I nod. “Bryan saw me do it too.”
    Holly’s chuckle now turns into a full blown belly laugh. Tears form in her eyes.
    “It’s not funny,” I state, almost angry.
    “So what now? You’re just going to avoid him? That’s your plan?” Her laughter settles and she gives me a look telling me I’m being ridiculous. “Leah, the longer you let this go without talking to him—”
    “I know, I know. I just don’t know what to say,” I tell her.
    “So let him start,” she says, standing.
    “Or maybe,” I begin, hope lacing through my voice, “he also doesn’t think we need to talk about it. Maybe he’s fine with just letting it be. Like nothing ever happened.”
    Holly looks at me like I’ve just grown a second head. “Leah, you had sex with Shane. Shane! That changes everything .”
    She shakes her head and walks out of my office, leaving me to let her words sink in. I fight the urge to throw my pen at her out of resentment because I fear she may be right.
    I pick up my cell and reread Shane’s texts. All seven of them, over and over again. My fingers hover over the reply button but I don’t press it. Instead, I open my desk drawer, place my phone inside and try to ignore it for the rest of the day.
     
     
    I DON’T GO to Eddy and Holly’s that night. I hate this feeling of being afraid to see the one person I’ve never shied away from. It hits me in the lowest depth of my stomach, making me feel nauseous. I try to forget about it by keeping myself busy and staying at the office until late into the evening. But staying back and working hasn’t stopped me from checking my phone relentlessly. I’ve received nothing more from Shane, but Holly texted asking if I was on my way yet. I swipe back to Shane’s last message.
     

     
    That text stands out more than any of the others.
    I start to pack up for the night, turning off my computer and putting my last few files away when I hear my phone chirp.
     

     
    The guilt of knowing that if the situations were reversed and he were treating me this way, I’d be more than angry and resentful. I’d be…devastated. I don’t want to do that to him. I don’t want to do that to me. The thought of him leaving for two weeks and not seeing him before breaks my heart.
     

     
    His reply is instant.
     

     
    It takes me a full two minutes before I hit send to my next text.
     

     
    Two seconds later…
     

     
     
    THE CAB RIDE is spent going over every single scenario that could unfold. I try and prepare for any one of them. A practice I’m used to as a lawyer. Be prepared for anything and everything. Have my arguments ready, rebuttals planned, and examples handy. Only, how can I really be prepared for this?
    What if he says that regardless of the promise he made, things have changed and being around me now is just too weird. That it’s impossible for us to go back to the way we were. That it was stupid of us to believe in such a thing.
    It would kill me. Losing Shane would kill my heart.
    Perhaps the best strategy, the only way I can ensure that night won’t come between our friendship, is to act like it had no effect at all. I’ll build my case around the notion that yes, we had sex, but it’s of no consequence to me or how I feel about him so, in turn, it shouldn’t be to him either. It was a onetime thing. I was curious after Bryan’s comments (fucking, Bryan!), and I foolishly acted on them but now things can go back to normal.
    Perfect! That’s the best way to handle this.
    Act like it wasn’t a big deal and it won’t turn into one.
    The front door swings open before I even knock, as though