Free When I Wake Up by Ana Paula Macedo Page B

since before the foundation of the world.” the voice said.
    “How?” I thought. What a powerful voice this was that had the power to guess my thoughts? Would it be a telepathic voice? No . This could not be real. It must be the effect of this coma and beyond anything I was sleeping. I was unconscious and couldn’t be daydreaming, for I was asleep, in a coma, almost dead, and now out of nowhere appeared this comforting voice and it spoke to me. And what's this about before the world began? I thought to myself.
    While I felt a gentle breeze passing around me, my heart raced and the nurse Mara shouted:
    “Look at her heart monitor. Her heartbeat accelerated. I think we'll lose her now. She will have a heart attack.”
    “No. Something inexplicable is happening to her. She will react.” Snapped Luiza.
    “You and your faith.” said Mara.
    I could pay attention to everything that was happening: in my motionless body on the bed, all the tubes that were placed in me, the annoying noise monitor, positive and negative comments made by doctors and nurses. I could see lights inside the room and above all, I could hear this supernatural voice that spoke to me, soothing my heart and making in me an effect I had never felt before.
    The breeze I felt was also something I had never experienced before and it all happened to me quickly and even me seeing my body on that bed and listening to people say that I would die, I could feel an inexplicable joy, which was caused due to me hearing the sound of that voice. I knew I should look up, but I could not. I was afraid to move and scare the voice. And suddenly, I realized that I wanted to talk to this voice. To meet it. To approach it, because I knew it knew me and understood me. I've always had so much fear that people found out my thoughts. I, who never got tired of daydreaming, was there now. I was now asleep, but at the same time more awake than ever, having an inexplicable experience with this voice that not only said it knew me, but seemed it could also read my thoughts.
    Despite all my uncertainty, I had the conviction that the voice really cared about me. It was as if it were real. Truly real. But even then I was still afraid that it was the product of my imagination. What if I was creating this voice?
    “No Sophia. I am the Creator. I created everything and I cannot be created by anyone.” The voice said, as if it had heard my thoughts.
    Had I finally found someone who could talk to me in my mind? But the voice at the same time was coming out of me, it was outside me, it involved me and made an effect on me that I had never felt before. But why had that voice only presented itself to me now, when I was in a coma?
    “I tried to talk to you several times before, but you could not hear me. Do you remember a time you were in your room, desperate, half awake, half asleep and you felt your body getting out of bed and heard a voice telling you: My daughter, what are you doing with your life?”
    Of course I remembered. That had been one of the most frightening experiences that had ever happened to me. And that voice that I heard that day made me reflect on my life.
    “It was I who spoke to you that day. I knew you were suffering, but you were about to go down a path of no return and that day I spoke to you, I warned you so that you would not try what they would offer you that day.”
    “It was drugs.” I thought. Some friends offered me drugs, and I slept a deep sleep during the day and when I woke up, a voice spoke to me and from that moment on, I knew I had to get away from some friendships.
    “I saved you Sophia.” The voice said again.
    An immense gratitude took over my being. Oh how I was happy to speak with that voice. That voice was so powerful, that gave me the certainty of better days, even if everyone or almost all believed that I was going to die.
    A joy so great invaded me, for the first time in my life, that void was filled and it seemed that at last I found a place