Free One Handsome Devil by Robert Preece Page A

you? Like in that Twilight Zone episode?
    His eyes held all of the sorrows in the world. “I guess some might eat a person if they had the chance.” He took a breath. “I never have."
    "Don't string me out."
    "We survive on pain, suffering. That's why we do what we do."
    "You mean you can't live without creating misery?” This was more serious than she'd thought—and she'd thought it was pretty serious.
    Jack managed a short laugh. “We don't have to create it. That's done for us. Hell creates it naturally. Out here, you people do it for us. It runs around free, sort of like an all-you-can-eat buffet."
    "So there isn't a problem.” Sara pulled into a Sammy Delight.
    "It isn't that easy. You know what happened with Katra?"
    Sara nodded. She was sure she didn't want to hear what Jack had to say about Katra. “Yeah."
    "Her wishes backfired. Well, that's how it works. Whatever we do, it changes to shit."
    Sara blushed bright red just as a middle-aged man appeared, hitching his oversized overalls over an oversized belly. The man signaled for her to roll down her window.
    "Whatcha want?"
    "Just a second.” She rolled the car's window back up and turned her attention to Jack. “Don't tell me you're going to turn last night to, uh, manure."
    "You had me tied down, remember."
    She remembered and blushed again. The man outside must think she was some sort of freak.
    "Try to eat, then. I mean food."
    Jack shrugged. “From what I've heard about these places, eating here isn't that far different from eating trouble."
    Sara shot an elbow into his side. “Hey, I love this kind of food."
    A quick menu scan showed no changes since she'd been to her last Sammy Delight the previous week. She rolled the window back down. “A burger and a Diet Coke."
    "I think I'd like to try Oysters Rockefeller,” Jack said. “Or maybe caviar. They're supposed to be good."
    "You want that kind of pussy food, maybe you should go back to Dallas where you came from,” their waiter growled. “We serve American food."
    "Make that two burgers,” Sara told him. “And a large order of cheese fries. And a regular Coke."
    "I had my heart set on Oysters Rockefeller,” Jack complained as their waiter headed back to the kitchen. He spoke just loudly enough to be heard and the man turned and started back.
    "He's just kidding,” Sara assured him.
    "Do you want to tell me what that was all about?” she demanded.
    "See what I mean? When you suggested eating, I just thought I'd try some of the things I've heard about. Naturally it turned out wrong."
    "You didn't do that on purpose?"
    Jack shrugged. “How would I know he'd be sensitive about his menu. You'd think he'd be proud of it or change it."
    Sara glared at Jack and tried to assess pros and cons. Sure he was a wonderful lover, but did she really want to spend time with someone who seemed to get into trouble everywhere he went? For that matter, he'd already created problems between herself and Katra.
    The man waddled back with a tray he hooked to the Miata window. His hands clenched into fists as Jack reached across Sara to take one of the burgers.
    "Thanks, Mister,” Sara blurted. “Keep your mouth shut,” she whispered to Jack.
    "You say something to me?” Large and fat seemed aching for a fight.
    "I told my friend to keep his mouth shut. I'm tired of his jokes about oysters."
    "You and me both, lady."
    "That went well,” Jack observed as their waiter headed back to the kitchen.
    "Shut up and eat.” It wasn't the greatest comeback, but Sara was hungry. She'd do better later.
    Jack bit into his burger and made a face. “People actually eat this?"
    "Yeah. It's good."
    "It's got four hundred and fifty grams of saturated fat, eight hundred calories, and it was cooked three days ago and warmed up in a microwave."
    All of a sudden, the burger didn't look quite so appetizing. “You're making that up."
    "No, ma'am."
    "Don't try to talk like a Texan. You can't fake it."
    "And those, uh, potato things.