Free Losing My Virginity and Other Dumb Ideas by Madhuri Banerjee Page A

hair, ‘I’ve got sunburn.’ She did look a little red but I had just assumed that that was her natural colour. Her make-up artist, sitting on a chair nearby, spoke to me, ‘It’s true. I’m trying to find a foundation to cover it up, but I’m afraid all I can do is cover her with this fake tan gel for now. It will hardly last till she showers again, which I presume would be by this afternoon and then what will we do?’ The make-up artist was speaking in a state of panic.
    This was the problem? Lack of fake tan gel. I was going to laugh. Real people had more serious issues. But obviously in the land of the royalty, these were classified as problems.
    I tried to keep a straight face and said, ‘Do not panic, Your Highness.’ But Her Highness was already rambling about how she would look to the press and she wasn’t so worried about the Indian photojournalists but the international paparazzi that would splash her photos all around in
People
magazine and call her family poor since she could not afford sun block or fake tan gel. I offered to get her some, but obviously the
only
one that she used was available only in Europe.
    ‘So the local grocer won’t have it?’ I muttered cheekily under my breath.
    I ordered her some breakfast through room service, but she insisted on only having black coffee once all the food came in.
    ‘There is only one solution,’ the Princess said. The hairdresser and I looked at her as if the ‘Oracle’ would now speak.
    ‘I need to use that last bit of gel and leave Goa immediately to go to Mumbai, where, hopefully, Roberta, my secretary, will be able to find it or have it flown in by tonight for the dinner party I have to attend.’
    The two attendants nodded their heads in solemn agreement and the translator spoke, ‘I think that might be the best, given the circumstances.’
    ‘I think it’s a shame though that you didn’t get to see the whole of Goa. Such a pretty land,’ I said.
    And then she said something that made me want to get up and kiss her which would have meant the bodyguard would have slammed me down and made me into mince meat. ‘Why don’t I relieve you of your duties once you see us off at the airport? You can call the embassy for another interpreter to meet us at the airport and take over when we land in Mumbai. You can finish seeing the land of Goa and come back, on your own money, of course. I won’t be paying for this.’
    I didn’t care if she never paid me for anything but she had just given me my life back, so I gave a little yelp that sounded like her dog Fee Fee. Miss Foo Foo’s dog was named Fee Fee! I had to tell Arjun.
    ‘Yes, Your Highness,’ I ended up saying. ‘Whatever you say.’ And I bowed and exited the room. I was already running back to my room dialling his number in my head.

Eleven
    I dropped the Princess off through a mad rush of paparazzi, a slew of cars and a host of bodyguards. Then after bowing to the Princess one last time, I kissed the ground of the airport and made my way back to the shack where it had all begun.
    Greek God was sitting there looking amazing in his stubble and a dark green t-shirt over a light blue pair of jeans, sipping a cup of coffee, which he gulped down as soon as he saw me. Suddenly I felt shy as I approached him. What if I had been thinking about this the wrong way? What if he was here to tell me he was busy?
    But soon my fears were quelled as he got up and pulled me closer to him and gave me a long, hard kiss—one that reminded me of the first time and I was tingling all over once again. It had not been a dream after all.
    ‘We don’t have time,’ he said as he took my hand and led me away from Sunny’s. ‘We’ll sit and drink beer later. Now, I have to show you more of Goa!’
    So I let him lead the way for most of the day. And I had a blast. We went straight away to the spice plantation in the town of Savoi Verum, which is ten kilometers north of the city of Ponda and about a half hour taxi