Free Julia's Daughters by Colleen Faulkner Page B

want him to see me naked? He’s been seeing me naked since I was twenty years old. I set the phone on the edge of the sink and cover my exposed left breast. I don’t know if he doesn’t see it or he just doesn’t care. Even a year or so ago, Ben’s face lit up at the sight of a bare breast, even one he knew well. The look on his face, or the lack of response in this case, makes me so sad and I don’t know why. This isn’t solely his fault, the state of our marriage. I know that.
    â€œI . . . we need to talk,” I say, fussing with the towel.
    â€œYou’re telling me.” Ben’s not usually a cynical guy, but his words are dripping with sarcasm.
    He turns around and grabs my white terry robe off a hook on the back of the door. He opens it for me. I hesitate, then turn my back to him and let the towel slide to the floor. I’m relieved to feel the robe around me. I tie it tightly before I face him.
    â€œAbout Haley,” I say, not sure what he means.
    He exhales. “Izzy told me.”
    â€œIzzy told you what?” I walk out of the bathroom. I feel exposed. I need to get dressed. “What does Izzy know?”
    â€œIzzy said you went out in the middle of the night and brought Haley home. Where the hell was she?” he asks, raising his voice.
    I walk to my dresser. He stands near the bathroom door, watching me. I pull on panties and slip out of my robe, my back to him. I grab a sports bra and pull it over my head. I don’t turn to face him until I’m wearing yoga pants and a T-shirt from some camp one of the girls attended.
    He’s just standing there, looking at me. Even heavier than he’s ever been, he’s still a good-looking man: short, dark hair, a day-old beard that’s sexy on him rather than making him look unkempt. He’s a big guy. Six foot two, stocky, though he’s never been heavy, until now. I always had a thing for big guys.
    â€œWhere was she?” Ben asks, clearly ticked off. I can’t tell if the anger is directed at me or Haley. Probably both of us.
    â€œShe was at someone’s house. On Third.”
    â€œIn that neighborhood? At three o’clock in the morning? I thought she was grounded. Why the hell was she even out of the house?”
    â€œMy guess is that she went out her window again.” She’d done the same thing a couple of weeks ago and strolled back in the back door around noon the following day.
    â€œAnd exactly why did she sneak out the window, then call you to come get her? Why didn’t you wake me up?”
    I want to say I didn’t wake you up because it’s pretty obvious you’re more interested in what fertilizer you’re spreading on lawns this week than your family, but I don’t. I walk over to the bed and sit down. “She went to this house where there was sort of a party and I think things got out of hand.” I look up at him. “I’m just glad she had the sense to call me. That’s good that she still feels like she can call us if she gets into trouble, right?”
    He shakes his head. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. We’re going to have to get into this later. I have to meet with a client. Are you coming to dinner tonight? Mom’s birthday. She’s expecting us all there.”
    I close my eyes.
    â€œI already told her the girls were coming. She needs a count. She’s making beef bourguignonne.”
    I don’t want to go, of course, but I know I should. It’s time for us to start acting like a family again. Haley and Izzy need that. I know they do. I just don’t know if I can do it.
    My eyes are still closed. “She’s cooking for her own birthday? Why aren’t we just going out?” Having to sit with his family and have dinner in a restaurant is torture enough. Being in that house, with them, just seems . . . impossible.
    â€œYou know Mom. She doesn’t like to eat out.