Free Lancelot and the Wolf by Sarah Luddington Page A

mean?” I asked.
    She threw her hands up, “I don’t know. He left me and said he would return but he never did. When you showed up and saved me from the sheriff’s men, I knew it must be you. I’d never needed help so badly. And when I realised you were Lancelot. The Lancelot, that we all dreamt about at home, I knew you were the one to help. I used to listen for hours about how much Stephen hated you winning all the tournaments and fighting by Arthur’s side,” she ran out of breath. Pausing she fought to calm herself. I watched, dumbfounded.
    “ Merlin told me that when the man appeared, I had to bind him to me with ties of loyalty and love. When you thought I could be your squire you were happy to be in my company. But I’d noticed the night you arrived how you are around women and we all heard about your love for the Queen.”
    I looked away from her at that point. My relationship with Guinevere is not something I choose to talk of or think about.
    She hurried on, “So, I thought being a boy would help you come to terms with my company. I didn’t want to trick you or force you to love me.”
    “ That worked so well,” I said, aching for her once more.
    She ignored me and carried on, “When we were almost caught and we ran into the wood my homing instinct kicked in. It is the place of my birth. I felt it call to me and I followed that call. When I finally woke, it was already too late. You had been enchanted and I didn’t have the strength or talent to fight my sister’s desire for you. She wanted to bind you to me, so I would force you to save our family and Arthur. In making love to me, she bound us together, driving your essence into me and mine into you. She knitted my magic through your soul and you cannot escape me without great harm. It takes a full quarter cycle for this spell to be complete. You would have been my happy companion forever if I’d left it any longer and you would never have known what I’d done.”
    “ I would have been your slave,” I said slowly.
    “ Yes,” she said quietly. “When I realised what we were doing to you I tried to talk to her, to explain this wasn’t a good idea. That as a man you would have helped if I were just honest. That she needed to remove the spell. She needed to free you from me and the land of the fey. But she wouldn’t. She told me I had to attend to my duty and my duty was to save our family by using you.” Else sat as though all this exhausted her. “But I know we have to save Arthur without lies and trickery. I wanted the love of the man, Lancelot, not the halfwit her magic was creating. That’s when I knew we had to leave. So, I’ve been working on that for the last few days and nights but it’s hard because the human part of me is as vulnerable to the spells of the fey as you are. I just knew I must take you from that place before the autumn equinox.”
    “ So, now what?”
    “ Now you have to survive the withdrawal of the magic from your blood and your soul. Now you have a choice. Travel with me to England and help Arthur, or leave and try to survive without me.”
    “ What is the threat to Arthur?” I asked.
    “ A rival fey family want him dead. They are using the de Clare family to cause trouble in Camelot. You are the only one who can help. You are the only one Arthur loves enough to trust.”
    “ That’s it?”
    “ More or less,” she said.
    “ But I am addicted to you aren’t I?”
    “ Yes,” she said so quietly I could hardly hear her. “I am sorry. I didn’t know it was happening until too late. I loved you so much, Lancelot, I didn’t have the will to stop you.”
    “ Love me,” I began to shiver. “Love me,” I said dully. “You have lied to me, tricked me, manipulated me and hurt me. You are just like all other fucking women and I hate you.” The shiver turned into a jerking aching reaction to my emotional withdrawal.
    “ Let me touch you and I can ease your pain,” she rose and came to my side. Her