Free My Name Is Chloe by Melody Carlson Page B

I’m wondering, is this really me? Is this really real? Will it really last? Or is it all just a fine figment of my imagination? Am I going crazy or have I come to sanity? But, oh, I think I finally know what it means to be happy! The very word I used to despise.
    What happened? What happened ? What makes this day so special—so outstanding from the rest?
    Chloe Abigail Miller died today. R.I.P. But, don’t worry, for in the same instant she returned to life too. How do I know this amazing thing really took place? I don’t even know how I know exactly. I just know .
    Today, I gave my heart to Jesus, and it’s as if the old Chloe just melted down and sank into the soil right beneath my feet—and in her place appeared a new Chloe—a Chloe who belongs to God now. A brand-new Chloe with a whole new life ahead of her!
    I must admit, even as I write these fantastic things, I almost can’t believe them myself. Almost. But mostly I do. And I have a feeling that when I have doubt (and I’m guessing that’s possible), God will somehow help me out.
    So, this is exactly how it happened. For three days, I’ve been struggling with this whole thing. And even though my conversation with Laura was somewhat helpful, it also scared and disturbed me. The idea of a battle being waged for my puny, worthless little soul was a little unnerving, not to mention mind-boggling. How could the forces of the universe even know that I exist? And why should they even care? But somehow, it became clearer and clearer that they did. Still, I didn’t know what to do about it.
    So, today, feeling slightly like a crazed lunatic, as soon as school was out, I ran over to the cemetery—as though I couldn’t get there fast enough. Once there, I just walked around, kind of dazed maybe and trying to catch my breath. I was heading to my usual spot, Katherine’s old gravesite, but for some reason (a God reason!), I turned and walked in the opposite direction.
    I walked up the hill to where the newer section of the cemetery is, clear to the top of the knoll. And there I found this nice, and fairly new, cement bench. I sat on it and pondered my perplexingsituation. Maybe I was praying. I’m not even sure. But I was bent over, and I know I was thinking about the things Laura had said as well as an e-mail I’d gotten from Caitlin just last night. It had been a short message to let me know she was coming home to visit this weekend, but she’d also written a Bible verse at the bottom of it. It caught my attention because she doesn’t usually do that.
    So I guess I was tumbling all these various things around in my head, and, yes, if I think about it, I’m sure that I was praying too. But I felt flustered and frustrated, and as I recall, I was crying. And it felt as if I was getting nowhere—just going round and round in circles faster and faster, like this one particular ride at the fair that always makes me sick. So I looked up suddenly—wanting the ride to end—and for whatever reason (yes, a God reason!), I noticed the gravestone directly in front of me—straight across from the bench. It was a new-looking headstone with shiny, white marble, and there seemed to be a lot of writing on it. So I wiped my tear-blurred eyes and studied it more carefully. And to my astonishment, it was the EXACT same Bible verse that Caitlin had written to me just yesterday—almost word for word. This is the verse:
    “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”
    —Jesus Christ.
    Well, it’s true I’ve never been hit by lightning before, but that’s the best way I can think to describe this feeling. It’s like an electric jolt zapped right through my body and I thought: This is it. This is really the truth. This is what I’ve been looking for . And so right then and there, I did it. I asked Jesus to come into my heart.
    And that’s when it felt as if everything just changed in a flash. And I know, I absolutely know, I