Free A Dad for Billie by Susan Mallery Page B

hi.” She darted off without waiting for permission.
    “Charm school,” Charlene murmured quietly, before she, too, walked away to greet some friends. Adam also disappeared into the crowd to speak with someone.
    Alone, Jane moved toward the front steps of the church. The old-fashioned white building had been recently painted. Green grass stretched out on either side of the path leading from the parking lot to the stairs. Lofty chestnut trees provided shade. They’d grown taller in her absence, she thought, glancing up at them. And the dogwoods had grown wider. Small changes really, not enough to keep her from remembering.
    As she climbed the steps, she reminded herself it was all in the past. But it wasn’t. As she stepped through the open double doors, time shifted. It bent until that day and this one touched, and she once again stood in the back of the church, her long, white wedding gown dragging at her with each step.
    The church had been full, the townspeople eager to see Adam Barrington wed his bride. White roses, always her favorite, filled every urn. Wide ribbons curved along the center aisle, holding small white bouquets at the end of each pew. Even now, the scent of roses swept over her. Someone jostled her gently and she stepped into a corner of the foyer. The shadows blurred, the sounds faded, until all she could hear was her mother telling her it was too late to change her mind.
    “You can’t back out now,” her mother had said, an edge of hysteria in her voice. “The wedding, the reception. It’s all planned. What will your father say?”
    A familiar theme growing up, Jane recalled. Her father had been the undisputed master of his castle. Her mother the eager subject. It was her mother’s willingness to be what her husband demanded that had first given Jane a glimpse of what life with Adam might be like. Adam also made politely worded requests. As she stared at the people waiting to watch her marry, she had wondered if he loved her. Confusion, as real today as it had beennine years ago, filled her. Was she the most convenient bride? Young and easily influenced? Did he want
her
or had she simply fulfilled his list? They were so different. Six years had loomed large between them. He’d been a man.
    More than anything, that had frightened her. In those moments when her blood had run cold and her heart had thundered in her throat, she had seen that she wasn’t enough. She might love him with all of her being, but she wasn’t ready to marry him. It had been her first mature realization. Unfortunately, she had acted like a child. Even as her mother had begged her to reconsider, Jane pulled off the wedding gown and veil. She’d slipped on her jeans and shirt.
    “What are you going to tell him?” her mother had asked.
    “Nothing.”
    With that, she had run. Pausing only to peek into the church one more time, stopping long enough to catch Adam’s eye and see him smile at her, warmly, trustingly, as any man would smile at the unexpected glimpse of his bride. He hadn’t seen she wasn’t wearing her gown. In that moment, she’d stopped to question her actions. Had his expression contained affection? Even love?
    No, she’d thought as the tears had begun. Not love. Convenience. Suitability. She would never inspire the same kind of soul-stealing emotion that he created in her. Better to find that out now, rather than later. She’d escaped out a side door and had never looked back.
    One cowardly, selfish act. Her life had never been the same. She’d lived with that mistake from that moment until this. Adam had been right, Jane thought, pushing away the past and looking around at the church. She hadn’t allowed herself to think about the consequences of her actions. Oh, she’d acknowledged that he might be hurt or a little embarrassed, but she’d never considered in detail what he must have gone through.
    Her Adam, so strong and proud, handsome. She remembered how her heart had fluttered whenever