Free The Art of Becoming Homeless by Sara Alexi Page A

today’s disaster. Michelle watches as it slowly pulls out of the harbour.

    She remains motionless, her heart sinking, waiting for the wave of panic that is sure to overwhelm her. She tries to control her breath, but the wave surges and crashes down on her and her throat contracts ... Curiously, the greatest sensation is one of relief!
    Across from the pier is a stone step in the shade. She sinks to a sitting position, her hands to her eyes, all resistance gone. A frown flicks across her forehead. Relief floods through her body. Relief at what?

    ‘ You always think you are about to lose your job,’ Juliet had said on the phone, shortly after Michelle was made a partner in the firm.
    ‘ I don’t think you know how tough my world is.’ Michelle deftly took the cork out of yesterday’s wine and poured a glass, carrying it through to the sitting room, the phone wedged under her chin.
    ‘ Yes, but you do this every time there’s a glitch at work. A small problem and you build it into a big one, which ends in you losing your job and then losing your house.’
    ‘ Do you know how much that house costs to maintain?’ Michelle had sunk into the sofa and stared at the black, lifeless grate.
    ‘ Then why did you fight for it?’ She had heard Juliet take a sip of her own wine and had imagined her sitting out in the warm evening, not facing a trek into the cellar for coal. She’d sighed.
    ‘ Because I am stupid. Because I wanted to take something he valued. Because I wanted to hurt him.’ The wine had gone too soon and she’d put the glass down on the hearth and returned to the kitchen for the bottle. ‘I should have realised when he gave in so easily.’ She’d settled back on the sofa.
    ‘ You weren’t to know though.’
    ‘ He slipped the paper in with all the rest after the settlement, just like it was any other paper. I can’t believe it has taken me two years to find it.’
    ‘ Have you had a second opinion?’
    ‘ Yes. Definitely deathwatch beetle, and the whole wall will have to come down, new timbers, tens of thousands. Richard knew exactly what he was letting go of.’
    ‘ Anyway, that’s a separate issue. You’re digressing. You are not going to lose your job over forgetting to copy in your boss, so relax. You know, sometimes I think you want to lose your job, and the house, to give yourself some breathing space.’ She had hated Juliet at that moment, hated that Juliet could not see what the house meant to her. The time she had lived with Richard there in security and comfort, a proper home guaranteed. A haven after years of couch surfing as she worked and saved the money to put herself through college and the bar exam. She had repeated her early childhood of instability and no roots.
    ‘ Yes, that’s right, Juliet, I loved those years of my family moving from job to job and me from school to school, never having friends for longer than six months.’ She had changed hands with the phone, releasing her clenched fist, the blood rushing back to her white knuckles.
    ‘ Ah, you just hadn’t found me yet.’ Juliet laughed. Michelle had wanted to slam the phone down, but there was something in the way Juliet had said it that started her giggling, which set Juliet off. And she was right, Michelle had reasoned. Life had changed for her after she had moved to Bradford and befriended Juliet. Right from the beginning it had been clear she could rely on Juliet to be there for her.

    So maybe Juliet was right. Maybe it would be a relief to get rid of the house. It has already eaten up two years ’ money to keep it warm and dehumidified, treating mould and pinning back panelling.
    Coming across the paper about the deathwatch beetle had been the last straw.
    But to move out? Pack up everything she and Richard chose together, box it up, sell it, donate it, make decisions about each piece? It would be so painful. Move to a house for one person, with no history, just her? After eighteen years, the house is