Free A Dad At Last by Marie Ferrarella Page A

putting words into his mouth. “Lacy, it’s not like that.”
    She raised her chin pugnaciously, daring him to prove her wrong. “No? Then tell me what it’s like, Connor. Please, tell me what it’s like. Is it horrible,like having needles stuck in your eyes, or just unpleasant, like the sound of a dentist’s drill starting up near you?”
    He knew where she was going with this. Frustrated because he wanted to touch her no matter what his common sense told him, Connor shoved his hands into his pockets.
    â€œLacy, we’ve been all through this. I won’t—I can’t let myself have any feelings for you. Look what happened the last time.”
    Did he have any idea how hurtful he was being? Only anger kept her tears back. “Right. Disaster. Chase was conceived.”
    Now that he’d seen him, held him, he didn’t consider the conception of his son a disaster, not for him. But the timing left a great deal to be desired, especially for Lacy.
    â€œAnd your whole life was turned upside down,” he added.
    It had been, when she’d been handed that letter and the envelope with severance pay that Janelle had said came from Connor. But that, too, she realized, had been part of Janelle’s plan. It was behind her now that the truth was finally coming out. “That was partly Janelle’s doing. We both know that now.”
    He blocked out the other woman’s name, wishing he could have blocked out her existence, as well. The less he thought about the harm she could have inflicted on all their lives, the better. There was nopoint in going over the past, only the future. And his couldn’t be the way he would have wanted it to be had he been irresponsible. “Lacy, I’m too old for you—”
    â€œOh, right.” Excuses. The same flimsy excuses he’d given her before. The morning after they’d made love that first and only time. “One foot in the grave—I forgot.”
    Turning away so he wouldn’t see the tears that were forming in her eyes, Lacy dragged her hand through her hair. What was she doing? Begging him to love her? She knew he didn’t. Even now, he was saying he couldn’t. All the reasons in the world wouldn’t change his feelings if he had any for her. But he didn’t. What he had was a sense of ethics. He was just being responsible.
    The Maitlands were powerful people. What if he decided to use their power to take her to court and legally take Chase away from her? She liked the Maitlands, and they seemed to like her, but Connor and Chase were their blood. She was just the woman on the outside. She couldn’t risk losing her baby yet again.
    Besides, she did intend to remain in Austin so that Chase could have what she’d never had—a large extended family who cared for him.
    This was, she supposed, the best possible deal she could be offered. But she couldn’t accept it as it was. It needed some modifications.
    Her back still to him, she gave him his answer. “I won’t marry you.”
    The answer stung. And then Connor realized that she was crying. He could tell by the set of her shoulders, and he longed to take her into his arms, to wipe away the tears he knew had to be staining her cheeks. But that would be starting something he couldn’t allow himself to finish.
    â€œLacy—”
    Quickly wiping away the errant tears that had escaped with the heel of her hand, Lacy turned to look at him. Her head was held high, partly to impede the flow of tears, partly to put on a brave front.
    She continued as if Connor hadn’t interrupted. “But there’s no reason to punish Chase and deny him things that he’s entitled to just because you and I don’t love each other.”
    She didn’t love him.
    This was what he wanted, to be assured that there were no emotional ties between them, not even a glimmer.
    So why did it hurt to hear her reiterate exactly