Free Madness by Sorcha MacMurrough Page B

with nothing but memories and regrets.”
     
    “But it doesn't have to be like that, Simon. I'll come see you whenever I visit Lucinda and—”
     
    He shook his head regretfully. “I told you. I don’t know what lies they will tell you about what I've supposedly done. All I can say is I served my country loyally, and this is the way they’ve repaid me.”
     
    “But why—”
     
    “Please, don't ask me any more, lovely Gabrielle. I’m going to have another seizure and might wake your cousin. It's a miracle we haven't already."
     
    "He works so hard, he must sleep like the dead when he does finally get a chance to rest," she said with a sad smile.
     
    "So no more arguing. I don't want to lose a moment of these precious moments together, for however long we're gifted with them. Let me just kiss you, feel you beside me, feel your lush softness? I promise I shall be careful, not take your maidenhead.”
     
    “Do it, please, just take it. I need—”
     
    He shook his head and kissed her, lifting his head many moments later with a sigh. “I never knew there could be such pleasure in something so simple.”
     
    Of course his hands had not been still, and Gabrielle barely had the strength to reply. Her whole body had vibrated like one of the celestial spheres as he had brought her to some strange fit of her own.
     
    “What, what did you do to me? This shaking, trembling?”
     
    “It’s called an orgasm or climax, my dear. La petite mort. The little death. It’s the pinnacle of pleasure in the act between a man and woman. If a man is patient with you, you can experience it over and over again. With a man it is as you’ve seen, sound and fury, then nothing for a time. A good lover can keep you on the edge like this for hours—”
     
    “And how is it you know so much about women's pleasures?” she asked, with a sudden stab of jealousy the likes of which she had never known.
     
    “Before Bedlam, during the war, I lived in a brothel. The army put me there for safe-keeping. I talked to the women, learned about their bodies, what pleases a woman.”
     
    Her eyes widened in horror.
     
    “Yes, I did more than talk too, but you have to believe me when I say I’m not the rake you would imagine me to be. It would be like, er, living in a bakery. After a time you’d get sick of cake."
     
    She gave a short laugh of disbelief, but from the serious expression in his eyes, she could see he was in earnest.
     
    "I also have to like the woman I bed. And while there are many admirable things to like about many women, they were a temporary solace, and only ever willing. No money ever changed hands. If they were willing to teach me, I learned. Otherwise I performed my duties in the war as and when required."
     
    "I see."
     
    “And I want you to see more, so you don't make the mistake your sister made, and give yourself to a man who is unworthy of her.   Most men only care about their own pleasure. But lovemaking can be a fine art. I longed to possess those skills to do as the marriage service says, worship my wife with my body. When the time came of course, for I have never been married.”
     
    “Have you ever come close?”
     
    He shook his head. “A man like me?”
     
    “You keep saying that, but I don’t underst—”
     
    “Don’t ask!” he said almost desperately, pressing one finger to her lips. “It will trigger off memories. Then I’ll lose you.”
     
    “Let me guess, you were, um, different in some way, different from your brothers. A bit, er, eccentric? Too clever, in fact?”
     
    He nodded, relieved. “You do understand.”
     
    “I too know what it’s like to feel as if I don’t belong. To feel alone in the crowd and long for just one person who really understands me.”
     
    He nodded and kissed her, bestowing upon her a smile which was pure sunshine. “Yes, that’s it exactly. Oh, you do understand. At last, for the first time in my life I’ve met someone who can grasp this