Free The Happiness Show by Catherine Deveny Page B

wouldn’t see it.” Isn’t that brilliant?’
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    â€˜I seem to remember you were a bit of an Ian McEwan fan. I still don’t think he should have won the Booker for Amsterdam .’
    â€˜I agree, but have you read Enduring Love yet?’
    â€˜I couldn’t put it down. I cancelled a client so I could finish it. I’m never going on a hot-air balloon as long as I live.’
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    â€˜So I’m singing “Old MacDonald Had a Farm” – you know, doing the pig, the cow, the sheep. Oh, you probably don’t know. You’re probably far too posh to look after your own children …’
    â€˜Matter of fact, I am too posh. But I do happen to know that song.’
    â€˜Anyhow, I turn to this quiet kid and say, “So what’s your favourite animal, mate?” And he looks at me and says, “My mum.”’
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    â€˜Seriously, I think either the Americans should have to pass an IQ test to vote or the rest of the world should get to vote with them. The outcome affects us far more than them and they know bugger all about what’s going on in the rest of the world.’
    â€˜Well, if you Australians are so clever, how did you end up with John Howard?’
    â€˜Okay, Tom, you got me there. Another drink?’
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    â€˜So you’re a celebrity, Lizzie?’
    â€˜Not really, just a professional loudmouth. You’re the one who’s a success. You’ve got a job.’
    â€˜A firm.’
    â€˜Not your first firm, from what I remember.’ Lizzie was happily pissed. Tom’s face broke into a broad smile.
    â€˜You must be confusing me with someone else. No, actually, come to think of it I do remember several firms.’
    Pause.
    â€˜A firm of one’s own. Isn’t that what Virginia Woolf said every man should have?’
    â€˜No, I think that was a lawn mower.’
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    â€˜So Jules and I are in a tent in the middle of nowhere and I think I’m going to die – the pain was excruciating – and so I wake her up and say, “Jules, I think I’m dying,” and you know what she says? “Do you want a smoke, Lizzie?”’
    They both laughed.
    â€˜What did it end up being?’
    â€˜Kidney stones.’
    â€˜My brother Ned had those. They say it’s worse than childbirth.’
    â€˜It is. But nothing is more excruciating than your Nazi-sympathising brother. How is the Führer?’
    â€˜Married with two kids and living in Essex. But guess what his wife’s name is?’
    â€˜I give up.’
    â€˜Eva. No joke. How is Jules?’
    â€˜Great. Corporate maggot. Married a financial adviser.’
    â€˜Back in the breeding pool, spawning with one of her own?’
    â€˜You should meet this guy. It’s more like she’ll be hosting his latest batch of larvae.’
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    They couldn’t get it all out quickly enough. It was like putting on a jacket you haven’t worn for a while and finding a fifty in the pocket. Smelling your scent from ten years before. They were back together on that tiny planet only they inhabited.
    No one noticed Tom and Lizzie’s journey back in time. By this stage everyone was deep in conversation, pissed or both.
    Keith lurched over and put his arm around Tom. ‘I see you’ve met Lizzie.’
    â€˜Actually, we met travelling, years ago.’
    â€˜You never did.’ Keith had had a few.
    â€˜Yes,’ said Lizzie. ‘When Tom had hair.’
    â€˜And Lizzie was just a loud-mouthed Aussie wanting to be a comedian.’
    Becky came over, offering coffee and chocolates.
    â€˜Tom, I’d better drop you home before I get too pissed.’
    â€˜Oh, it’s fine, Keith. I’ll get a cab.’
    â€˜No, no, no. I insist.’ Keith leaned in conspiratorially. ‘Between you and me, the missus is trying to clean the place out because she’s knackered.’
    â€˜Oh, sorry,