Free The Flex of the Thumb by James Bennett Page A

the crowd in response to his long spiral pass. He decided he would throw another long, incomplete spiral, only this time even higher and farther.
    In order to fulfill a new student obligation, Vano was expected to meet with his advisor early in the semester. The office of his advisor, Chaplain Johansen, was located on the third floor of the campus’s oldest edifice, the previous administration building. The building was due for razing as soon as funds became available. Most of the floor where the chaplain’s office was housed was being used for storage.
    Chaplain Johansen was thin and pale. When Vano found him, he was perusing a catalogue of evangelists. “I get these catalogues free because of my office,” he informed Vano.
    A period of silence lasted 15 seconds before the chaplain finally said, “I wonder if you might like to look at the catalogue?”
    â€œI would enjoy looking at it,” Vano answered.
    Chaplain Johansen handed it over, and Vano began thumbing pages. It had the shiny paper stock of a mail order catalogue. There were pictures of evangelists on each page. Along with each picture, there was a paragraph describing the background and style of the evangelist. There was an easy-order blank in the back of the catalogue, so you could pick the preacher of your choice by simply filling out the form and mailing it in.
    Vano read the page which delineated the qualifications of Billy Joe Jim Bob of Tupelo, Mississippi. There was a $20 rebate coupon which you could tear out and mail in if you ordered Billy Joe Jim Bob before October 31. “I never saw a catalogue like this before,” said Vano.
    â€œI daresay most people haven’t,” replied Chaplain Johansen. “You wouldn’t think it possible to order an evangelist from a catalogue, the way you might order a washing machine from Sears. But there is the proof, right in front of you.” He giggled nervously.
    Vano returned the catalogue to the chaplain. After another protracted silence, Johansen said, “I receive a great deal of pleasure from mimeographing. I have my own mimeograph machine.”
    â€œThat’s nice.”
    The chaplain showed Vano a sheet of plain white paper with a single question printed near the center of the page: If a deaf moose bellows in the forest, but only a snail is there to hear it, does the bellowing moose in fact make any sound ?
    â€œWhere are the rest of the questions?” Vano wanted to know.
    â€œThat’s the whole test, just the one question. That’s how Oboe likes his tests. He says they’re easier to grade that way.”
    â€œI know who Oboe Meel is. He’s my philosophy teacher.”
    â€œOh my,” fussed Chaplain Johansen, “Maybe I shouldn’t have shown you the test. But he’s the only one who brings me mimeo work these days of computers and laser printers. It used to be that lots of people did.”
    Vano made no response. He was in deep.
    The chaplain said, “I can’t remember why you’re here. Sometimes I have problems with my memory.”
    â€œIt’s a requirement because you’re my advisor.”
    â€œYes of course, now I remember. Your roommate called me on the phone, by the way. He said you haven’t been yourself lately.”
    By the time Vano was able to answer, he said, “I’ve been myself only more so. I go deeper in. Sometimes Arnold gets concerned about me, but he really doesn’t need to.”
    â€œYou go deeper in? When your roommate called, he kept asking me if there was a tap on my phone.”
    Vano smiled, but didn’t answer.
    The chaplain continued, “Your roommate said something to me about an atomic telephone. He said if I had an atomic telephone, no one could eavesdrop on my conversations.”
    â€œThat sounds like Arnold,” said Vano.
    â€œArnold believes you have a spiritual connection of some sort. What does he mean by that?”
    It was a long,