Free A Serious Man by Joel Coen Page A

still inspires us, Sy Ableman returns . Because his memory instructs us, Sy Ableman returns . Because his thoughts illuminate our days and ways, Sy Ableman returns . The frivolous man may vanish without a ripple but Sy Ableman? Sy Ableman was a serious man …
    A sob echoes through the sanctuary .
    Larry looks at Judith, who stifles further sobs with a handkerchief.
    … As you know, the mourner’s kaddish does not mention the dead. It praises Hashem ; it praises what abides. And Sy Ableman, whose spirit will continue to assist us in tikkun olam , is with us even now, a serious man who would say as we now say, Yiskadal v’yiskadash sh’may rabah …
    The congregation rises and chants along until it and Judith’s weeping are cut off by:
A HAND RAPPING AT A DOOR
    The front door of the Gopnik home .
    Larry, still in his suit and yarmulka from shul, opens the door. He recoils in surprise edged with fear .
    Reverse: two uniformed policemen .
    COP 1
    Arthur Gopnik?
    Larry is momentarily dumb. Behind him, in the living room, we see a corner of a card table upon which food has been laid out. Sarah sits with her back to us, head wrapped in a towel-turban. Arthur, on the far side of the table, his balding head yarmulka-topped, half-leans out so that he may sneak looks toward the men at the door while still somewhat hidden. From somewhere down the hall come Judith’s muffled sobs.
    … Are you Arthur Gopnik?
    LARRY
    I’m … Laurence Gopnik.
    COP 1
    Do you go by the name Arthur Gopnik?
    LARRY
    No.
    COP 1
    Is that Arthur Gopnik?
    Arthur ducks away .
    From inside the living room:
    DANNY
    ( off )
    Dad? What’s going on?
    LARRY
    Can you tell me what’s going on? We’re sitting shiva here.
    COP 1
    You’re what ?
    LARRY
    A religious observance. We’re … bereaved.
    The heretofore wordless second cop gazes in over his partner’s shoulder .
    COP 2
    Who died?
    LARRY
    My wife’s, um … it’s a long story.

    COP 1
    Look. Tell Gopnik – Arthur Gopnik – he’s breaking the law. We’re not arresting him now but next time we will. Gambling is against the law in this state. That’s just the way it is. All right. Go back to your …
    COP 2
    Sorry, sir.
LIVING ROOM
    A minute later. The family – except for Judith, whose weeping continues off – sits around the card table. A long beat .
    At length:
    DANNY
    Dad, we get Channel 4 now but not Channel 7.
    LARRY
    Arthur, how could you do that to this family? On Sy’s … on Sy’s –
    ARTHUR
    It’s a victimless crime.
    LARRY
    That doesn’t make it right! And you –
    DANNY
    He won a lot of money, Dad! The Mentaculus really works!
    Larry’s gaze swings to his son .
    LARRY
    You knew about it?!
    DANNY
    Well, um …
    ARTHUR
    They must have finked me out. They knew I could just keep on winning, so a couple weeks ago they blackballed me, and now they’ve –
    LARRY
    What did you do with the money you won?
    Silence. Arthur sneaks a look at Danny .
    Larry looks back and forth between them.
    … What’s going on?
    Arthur shrugs .
    ARTHUR
    I didn’t want it. Danny said he could use it –
    SARAH
    Unfair!
    LARRY
    What have you been –
    ARTHUR
    What’s unfair is these guys saying I can’t play in their card game!
    SARAH
    Why give him the money?! You know what he spends it on?
    LARRY
    ( knowing nod )
    I know about the records.
    SARAH
    Records ?! You think he buys records from Mike Fagle?
    Movement in Danny’s body; Sarah recoils from a kick.
    … Ow! Little brat!
    LARRY
    Hey! What’s going on!
    DANNY
    At least I’m not saving up for a nose job!
    LARRY
    What?!

    SARAH
    Brat!
    LARRY
    Nobody in this house is getting a nose job! You got that?!
    DANNY
    Ah!
    Struck by a thought he leaps up and bolts from the room .
    LARRY
    Danny! You weren’t excused! We’re still talking!
    SARAH
    What a brat.
    LARRY
    What was this card game, Arthur?
    ARTHUR
    Some goys run a private game.
    We hear the TV going on in a bedroom and the theme from F Troop.
    … I think they’re Italians.
    LARRY
    Danny,