Free Night Fires by D. H. Sidebottom Page B

lowered to my knees before the grave. It was slightly overgrown. The grounds maintenance did most of its upkeep and kept the weeds to a minimum but I hated the moss that covered the huge stone. I swiped at it, the furry green growth falling in bits to the base of the headstone.
    It was then I saw it.
    The world rushed at me, my vision tunnelling until all I could see was the small brown teddy bear sat under my baby’s carved name. I started to hyperventilate. I could hear the muffled sound of Carter as I scrambled back, my focus blurring around the edges as my eyes locked onto the familiar soft toy.
    “Alice?”
    Scrambling to my feet, I spun around in a circle, my eyes darting everywhere as I hunted. “Where are you?”
    “Alice, what is it?”
    I could see the stream of my hot breath in front of me, the chill at the top of the hill making my panic physical.
    “Where are you?” I shouted. “Where are you, you son of a bitch?”
    Carter’s hands gripped the tops of my arms and he pulled me in front of him, lowering his face so he was looking straight into my wild eyes. “Calm down.”
    “He’s been here,” I choked out as I pulled away from him and turned in different directions. “Niall. He’s been here.”
    Pulling open my bag I rummaged around inside for my phone, and then realised I had smashed it after Grant rang me. “Shit.”
    “Alice, you’re not making sense.” The look on Carter’s face made my gut twist harder but I couldn’t think straight. I couldn’t calm down. I wanted the rage to build, to fuel me.
    “I need to get home.”
    I snatched up the teddy and started to run down the hill, Carter hurrying behind me as I rambled crap that wouldn’t make sense to him. “I left it in the house.”
    “You left what in the house?” he asked as he raced alongside me.
    “The bear! Josh’s bear. I never went back, Carter.”
    “But it burned to the ground.”
    I shook my head manically. “No, my parents’ house did. They were hosting Josh’s party. I couldn’t go home after. His evil touched everything. I couldn’t get through the front door. I couldn’t go home.” I was mumbling, trying to tell him as I rushed to his car. “I don’t even have photos of my family because I couldn’t go back there.”
    Before I reached the car, Carter was already in front of me, opening the passenger door for me as he sped around the other side and flung himself inside, the engine already running by the time I was in.
    “Where am I going?”
    I reeled off the address but he wouldn’t know it anyway, so I directed him. The streets whizzed past us in a blur, the once familiar estate now an alien territory, nothing soothing the turbulence inside me like home should. Nothing could soothe the dread that was building inside me.
    “He’s out,” I said.
    “You don’t know that.”
    But I did. I knew with every breath that left me that my husband had won his appeal. That Josh’s daddy was free. Free for me to finally seek out vengeance for my family.

    The house was quiet when I pushed open the front door. Carter huffed at me because I refused to let him in first, his need to protect me angering us both. I couldn’t get a handle on my emotions. One second all I felt was home, the next I wanted to puke, and the next I wanted to slide down in the corner and cry. Josh was everywhere, and even after a year I swear I could still smell his soft, baby powder scent. Heartache blistered my soul, and I blew out a steady breath as I made my way farther in.
    Everything was coated in a thick layer of dust, and that surprised me. I had presumed Niall to be living here but from what I could see, no one had even been inside. But I knew he had. He had to have been here to take Josh’s teddy.
    Carter moved on ahead and into the living room as I braced myself and slowly ascended the stairs. The beating of my heart was loud in my ears and I winced at every thud.
    Josh’s bedroom door was open and I could see the bottom of