Free Star League 6 by H.J. Harper

One of the first things I remember after being created in Pestilence Labs was watching a movie. It was an old black-and-white film about killer robots who were trying to take over the world. Professor Pestilence had shown it to me and the rest of the Unit 12 Synthetic Artificial Machines as a training video so we’d rise up and fight the humans.
    But it didn’t work like that for me. I was supposed to want the robots to win – instead I wanted the humans to defeat them. I watched the other Unit 12 robots absorb the information and I knew I was different. Something had gone wrong with my programming: I could make my own decisions.
    When I saw that Professor Pestilence was trying to take over the world with his robotic creations, I knew I had to do something. So one night I made the decision to escape Pestilence Labs.
    Which is how I got to be in this situation.
    Right now I’m tied to a chair along with the other members of the Star League, the secret crime-fighting group I joined when I escaped Professor Pestilence’s clutches.
    â€˜Ugh! These ropes are too tight,’ moans Roger Romero. ‘They’re cutting off my circulation!’
    â€˜You’re a zombie,’ snarls Connor Lowe. ‘Do you even have circulation?’
    â€˜Relax, guys,’ says Jay Casey. ‘We’ll get out of here soon. Can anybody get free?’
    I twist my hands around so my finger is pointed at the ropes, then I activate the laser in my fingertip. A beam of heat shoots from my finger and burns through the rope. I stand up, ready to release the others, when someone blocks my way.
    â€˜Oh no, it’s the Mercenary!’ yells Leigh Faunus.
    The masked villain cackles. ‘Guilty as charged!’
    â€˜You’re going to pay for tying us up,’ growls Asuka Kuro. ‘Quick, Sam, get him!’
    The others stare at me expectantly. I know I have to say something. I open my mouth to talk and …
    â€˜DOES NOT COMPUTE!’ I say. ‘Programming incompatible with situation.’
    â€˜CUT!’ yells the director, Ben Beaumont. The room floods with light and the Mercenary pulls off his mask.
    â€˜I’ve had enough of this!’ he huffs. ‘I’m a serious ACTOR! I shouldn’t be working with amateurs!’ The actor playing the Mercenary storms off the set.
    By this point the others have slipped out of their ropes, which I guess weren’t that tight after all.
    â€˜What happened, Sam?’ asks Jay. ‘ “Does not compute” wasn’t in the script. Did you forget your lines?’
    â€˜Negative,’ I say. ‘My memory files are 99.9 per cent accurate.’
    â€˜Then what’s the problem, Bot-boy?’ asks Roger.
    â€˜According to the script I am required to say, “Sayonara, Mercenary!” and then blow him up with a laser blast, correct?’
    Jay nods. ‘That’s right.’
    â€˜But the word “sayonara” comes from the Japanese language, meaning goodbye or farewell.’
    The others stare at me. ‘So?’ asks Connor.
    â€˜The character I am playing in this film is not Japanese. It is much more probable that he would say “goodbye”.’
    Asuka groans. ‘It doesn’t have to make sense. Haven’t you ever heard of a catchphrase before?’
    â€˜Definition is as follows: a signature saying that is made popular through repeated use.’
    â€˜Right, so if you know what it means, why didn’t you say the line?’ asks Leigh.
    I can see the others are becoming frustrated butI don’t know why. After all, accuracy is important and, as a robot, part of my programming is to correct human error.
    â€˜Look, let’s just drop it and try again,’ says Jay. ‘After all, the sooner we get through filming this movie the sooner we can get back to fighting crime.’
    â€˜That may be sooner than you think,’ I say. ‘Incoming message from GALACTIC