Free Starting with the Unexpected by Andi Van Page B

when I pulled up to where we were meeting my mom for lunch.
    “A buffet?” he asked me.
    “It’s our usual place,” I told him with a grin. “And it’s a good one. No mystery meat, no squid salad.”
    “Squid…. What?”
    I snickered and reached over to pat his knee. “Ask her about squid salad when we’re in line. Trust me, once you’ve heard the story, you’ll understand why Mom won’t so much as go into a buffet that doesn’t have clearly marked options.”
    Marcus gave me a look that said he was a little frightened by that statement, but he undid his seatbelt and climbed out of the car.
    Mom was waiting for us at the front door, happily chatting with Jordan. When she saw us, she smiled widely. It was very rare to find her not smiling, to be honest. She was a short, bubbly, plump woman with a heart of gold, and I’d won the jackpot when I got her for a mom. “There you are. Good lord, Zachary, look at your eye!”
    “Unless I’ve somehow gained chameleon-eyeball superpowers, Mom, I can’t do that without a mirror.”
    She swatted my arm and grinned at me, then pulled a petrified Marcus into a hug. “You must be Marcus. I’m so glad to meet you.”
    “Umm….” was all Marcus could get out. He looked over at me with wide eyes, as if asking me what he was supposed to do.
    “Don’t traumatize him,” I told my mother. “Marcus, this is my mother, Linda.”
    “Nice to meet you,” Marcus croaked as Mom let go of him. He looked from her to me, his eyes getting even wider as he did. “And here I thought you and Brandon looked a lot alike. Jesus.”
    I hadn’t thought to prepare him for that, but he was right. The genes on my mother’s side of the family are extremely strong, so we all basically look like each other. I’m a younger, taller, male version of my mom, same as my brother.
    “Oh, that’s because my mother didn’t actually have children,” she told Marcus, her expression totally serious. “My siblings and I are her clones. I decided I’d keep to family tradition when Terry and I discussed children.”
    “Terry’s my dad,” I explained to Marcus. “And she’s kidding. I think.”
    “Don’t be ridiculous,” my mom chastised. “Of course I’m kidding. If you require proof, there may be video of the night you were conceived.”
    “Oh God,” I groaned, giving her a disgusted look. “God. Now I need a bottle of brain bleach.”
    Marcus, to my surprise, let out a giggle. “I like you,” he told my mother. “The woman who gave birth to me wouldn’t be caught dead joking around with me like this.”
    “And that’s a travesty,” Mom said. “Come on, you can stand in line with me and tell me more about yourself.”
    “How’re you feeling?” Jordan asked me quietly when we started dishing up food. My mother had abandoned the two of us for her new favorite son, which was just as well with the way my head was still throbbing.
    “Waiting on the stuff I took to kick in,” I admitted. “It hurts, but I’ll live.”
    Jordan nodded as he stared at our options. I’d never seen someone have such a hard time deciding between mashed and au gratin potatoes as I had with Jordan. He tended to forget that no one was going to judge him at a buffet. “I thought you might be hurting. You look more pale than usual.”
    “And that’s a neat trick,” I agreed. “Fuck’s sake, just get both already. I’m hungry.”
    When we finally found the table my mom and Marcus had grabbed, I was scowling and Jordan looked far too pleased with himself.
    “Why are there mashed potatoes on your lasagna?” Marcus asked me when we sat down across from them. He looked concerned about that, but I imagined that I’d be a bit concerned to see that combination on someone’s plate too.
    “Revenge,” Jordan said gleefully.
    “You were the one trying to decide between two things at a buffet, for God’s sake!”
    “Boys,” my mom said in that particular warning tone that made me think back to