Free This One Is Mine: A Novel by Maria Semple Page A

the toothpick; his lion eyes scoped out the scene. Then Violet understood: the man from the parking lot was practicing his putts on the far side of the green.
    “That guy thinks he can buy game,” Teddy grumbled. “He doesn’t have game.” Teddy’s animal spirits were on the rise, and Violet rose with them. He reached into his pocket and removed a ball. In one sinuous movement, he let it roll down his fingers and onto the tight grass. He gripped the putter with one hand, then the other, then snuggled both hands to form a grip on his old familiar friend. Violet caught herself staring and had to remember to breathe. She looked up. Teddy had seen her hunger. Violet waited — forever, it seemed — for him to call her on her carnal desire, to sentence her, humiliate her. Instead, he winked.
    “So?” He putted the ball. He was loose, confident, unbelievably sexy. “What about you?” he said, his eyes never leaving the ball.
    “What about me?” She looked around, hoping all could see that he was hers, and she, his.
    “What’s a rich husband doing letting you spend the afternoon with a guy like me?”
    “
Letting
me?”
    “No woman of mine would ever be allowed to eat at a restaurant like that with another man.”
    “Is that so?”
    “It’s my pimp nature,” he said. “If you were my woman, there’s no way I’d let you run around the way you do.”
    “It’s lucky I’m not your woman,” she said. “Because I don’t like being told what to do.”
    “You would with me, though.”
    “I would not,” she said.
    “Oh, you would like it.”
    “I would not.”
    “Okay, then, you wouldn’t.” Teddy pointed to a hole about thirty feet away. “You think I can make it?” He hit the ball. It stopped just short.
    Violet followed him to the cup. “Wait a second. You
do
realize that no guy will ever break me of my independence.”
    Teddy tapped the ball in and retrieved it. “I’ll give you that one.” He let the ball roll down his forearm, then snapped it high in the air. He spun around and caught it behind his back.
    “Deal with it,” said Violet. “You could never break me.”
    Teddy flashed a smile. “I already have.” He hit his ball and called to someone, “Whoa! Look out!” His crusty ball knocked into a gleaming one, causing it to ricochet off course.
    “What the fuck!” It was the BMW guy. He dropped his putter and glared at Teddy.
    “Sorry about that, bro.” Teddy made the putt.
    “Are you done?” said the guy, yet to pick up his fallen club.
    “I don’t know.” Teddy picked up the sparkling putter and returned it to its owner. “This hole is lucky for me. How about we putt for it?”
    The guy picked up both balls and threw them fifteen feet away. “Happy to,” he said.
    “Jesus, here we go.” Teddy shook his head. He putted his ball, and it swerved to the right. His rival made the shot. “Lucky shot!” cried Teddy. “Bet you a buck you can’t do it again.”
    The guy reached into his pocket and rummaged through some bills. “All I got is a ten.”
    “If we’re talking real money, I’ll have to use your putter.”
    “Since when is ten bucks real money?”
    “I’m not the only one playing at a public course. What, were there no tee times at Riviera?”
    The guy took some phantom strokes, then lined up his shot and missed. “Fuck!”
    He handed Teddy the overengineered putter.
    Teddy marveled at its feel. “Sharp!”
    Violet quickly looked away. The eroticism of Teddy handling another golf club was more than she could take.
    Teddy putted; his ball rolled swiftly and directly into the hole.
    Violet folded her hands behind her back so she wouldn’t spontaneously embrace him.
    Teddy plucked the ten from the guy’s shirt pocket. “Thank you, ma’am.” He led Violet off. “I’m going to buy you something pretty with this.”
    “Double or nothing,” called the man.
    Teddy stopped. He smiled at Violet, waited a beat, then turned on his heels. “You
do
know this