Free The Theory of Death by Faye Kellerman Page A

go to Princeton, because they have a top math department and they had this professor who Elijah wanted to study with. Ezra refused. He didn’t want a big university to subvert our values and lead him into a life that we didn’t approve of. Kneed Loft was a compromise. It was an hour away and also had an excellent math department. Plus there was another professor there that Elijah said he’d work with.”
    “Did he give you a name?”
    “No. After the accident, he didn’t talk to us beyond the basics. After much consideration, Ezra allowed him to go to Kneed Loft, but only after he worked a year on the farm because he was only sixteen. So he worked his year without complaint and then he left.”
    A long pause.
    “And he never really came back.” She bit her lower lip. “During his first year, he came home for Christmas and Easter. After that …” She shrugged. “Never saw him unless I visited, never heard from him unless I called … I got a cell phone so I could text him. It was the most likely way he’d answer me.”
    “What about his father? Did he call him?”
    “I do believe they haven’t exchanged a word in the past two years.” She turned to Rina. “If you have children, you know that they can be very different from one another.”
    “Absolutely.”
    “So … there you have it.” Ruth Anne paused. “Still … even with all the changes, I can’t understand why he would kill himself. He never seemed depressed. His world had become math, but he seemed to like what he was doing. He seemed to be all right. The last time I talked to him, he even seemed lighter of heart. Shows you what I know.”
    “It’s not a matter of knowing, Mrs. Wolf. The mind is mysterious. Even when people seem transparent, we know they’re not.”
    “Your husband.” A long pause. “Is he talking to people about Elijah?”
    “I believe he is. You can certainly ask him questions.”
    “Not in front of my husband.”
    Rina paused. “I’ll give you his cell number if you’d like.”
    “Why not?” Ruth Anne took out a scrap of paper and a pencil and Rina gave her the number. “You never know what you need, right? Not that I’d even know what to ask him.” She folded the number and placed it in her pocket. “Thank you.”
    “Can I ask you when you last spoke with Elijah?”
    “It was a month ago. His research was going well. He didn’t seem at all down. Maybe he hit a setback. If he had, he certainly wouldn’t have told me about it.” Her eyes leaked tears. “Now it really is in the past. Are you done with the salad?”
    Rina nodded. “Do you have dressing for the salad? I’ll be happy to toss it.”
    “Just add a little olive oil and lemon.”
    “Sure.” Rina began mixing the greens.
    Ruth Anne wiped her eyes. “I know that God has tests for all of us. And I have no idea why He’s testing me. But that’s all right. I’m strong. Elijah was weak. Even as a boy, he always depended on Jacob to get things done. Why would God test such a weak boy? Surely He can pick on stronger people.”
    Rina shrugged. “Sometimes our understanding as well as our faith elude us.”
    “Isn’t that the truth.” She turned to Rina. “I am so angry! I’m angry at God, I’m angry at Elijah, I’m angry at Ezra, I’m angry at the world. And it isn’t good. I have children. I can’t be this angry person and do right by them.” She stared at the ceiling. “I just don’t know where to turn or what to do.”
    “When my first husband died, I was very angry as well. I had two little boys to take care of and I couldn’t see how I could manage. But I did.”
    “How?”
    “The passage of time. Ultimately I reconciled with God. I didn’t want to lose my faith because selfishly it was helpful to me.”
    Ruth Anne didn’t answer. They both heard a screen door open and close. She said, “The boys are here. Can you take the salad out for me?”
    “Of course.”
    Ruth Anne looked at her. “I’m assuming you’ll tell your