Free Under the Cornerstone by Sasha Marshall Page B

time comes? The image of me smiling freely and laughing like a child continues to pop into my head. What would make me do that? I also think of my anxieties and issues of abandonment. Maybe I should confront those issues head on? Should that go on a bucket list? I’m not sure, but everything I come up with I write it down so I can show Dr. Webster.
     
    1. I want to dance in the rain. It's stupid and it seems so cliché, but not many people dance in the rain because society gives us a box to fit into, and being drenched and looking like a wet rat when you can get out of the rain is unacceptable. I want to stand in the rain just because I can. 
2. I want to learn to play an instrument. Think hard about which one and get lessons.
3. I want to visit as many spots as I can that Banksy tagged. I want to tag when my heart feels the need to express a message.
4. I want to visit Jimi Hendrix's grave, and smoke a joint on top of it.
5. I want to fall in love. A love that is all-consuming and warm.
6. I want to face my father and ask him why he left me.
7. I want to scuba dive and see what life looks like on the sea floor.
8. I want to skydive and see what the world looks like from the clouds.
9. I want to bungee jump to be able to just let go and jump.
10. I want to fly in a hot air balloon.
11. I want to sing karaoke because I actually have a great voice, but I've always been too afraid to have all the attention on me. Maybe I've not been drunk enough.
12. Swim in a fountain in a foreign country, because I'm not supposed to. Don't forget to make a wish.
13. Get a makeover.
14. Put myself out there and go on a blind date.
15. Road trip!
16. Swim with dolphins.
17. Learn to cook. I should take cooking classes.
18. Take a nap in a hammock during the day.
19. Get a tattoo.
    20. Get a piercing.
    21.Visit Abbey Road.
    22. Make new friends.
    23. Say what I think all the time.
    24. Sign up for Krav Maga.
     
     
    I’m proud of my progress, and I’ve already marked off two items. I smile more often now. I discover things about me every day, and each time it feels monumental as if the world should stop turning so all of humanity can celebrate the small part of me that I found deep inside.
    I find freelance work as a graphic artist easily and virtually leave my savings untouched. I work when I want, how I want, and I can be selective about each project I accept. The Village Voice writes a story about the mural Jimmy and I began, and Johnny added the finishing touches to, and I’ve been in high demand for painting murals for businesses in New York. I’m free from suits and heels. I rarely take the subway anymore since I left Kohler & Kohler. I prefer to walk most everywhere and take in the world around me.
    After my next visit with Dr. Webster, I receive a glowing recommendation on my tattoo, piercing, and my list. She encourages me to push myself further. She reminds me not to let the words remain on the paper of my bucket list, but to make strides to ensure I bring them to fruition. She thinks confronting my father should wait, but that it is something I should definitely do in the future for closure, but when I feel stronger.
    I leave her office to meet Sabrina for an afternoon cocktail. She’s as bright as ever.
    “Bitch! You have got to try this Bloody Mary. They make the best one in New York,” she recommends.
    I order a Bloody Mary as I sit beside her at the bar, mainly because I’ve never had a Bloody Mary. The bartender makes fast work of making and placing my drink in front of me. Sabrina was right in her assessment, and I’m glad I have another drink to add to my small list of likes.
    “So let me see the tattoo,” she playfully demands so I pull my hoodie off and push my shirt up to show off the healing tattoo.
    “It looks great,” I smile.
    “The nose is healing well too,” she adds.
    “Yeah. I love it. I can’t wait to change it from this hoop to the small stud though. I don’t think the hoop is me,” I