Free Emma by Rosie Clarke Page B

that set my senses spinning. It was wonderful. I was melting inside, head spinning.
    Paul was easing me back on the settee, his mouth working against my throat as he whispered things … exciting, frightening, wonderful things that made me tremble. Now he was lying on top of me. I was thrilled and yet nervous. What was going to happen? His hand was caressing my breasts over the top of my silk blouse. His touch made me tingle all over. I was breathless. My stomach spiralled with a strange new sensation that made me gasp. Paul was sliding his hand up my leg … right to the top of my inner thigh.
    I made a little murmur of protest. This shouldn’t be happening. It was wrong. I ought to stop him.
    ‘Paul … we mustn’t.’
    He was gazing down at me, eyes mesmerising me, sapping my will. There was such an odd look on his face; his mouth was soft and loose. I knew he wanted to make love to me. This was real, this was passion. Not something out of a book. It was happening now – to me.
    ‘Trust me, darling,’ he whispered huskily. ‘I’ll look after you. We’re going to be married. There’s nothing to be frightened of – unless you don’t love me?’
    ‘You know I love you, Paul.’
    ‘Then just relax, darling. Trust me. It’s all going to be wonderful for us.’
    He was kissing me again, tongue flicking inside my mouth. I was melting, losing the will to resist. How could this be wrong when it felt so lovely? His hand stroked the inside of my thigh, gently, so that I felt my whole self responding to this wonderful new sensation. I moaned, my back arching towards him instinctively. His fingers slipped inside my French knickers, seeking out the sensitive essence of my womanhood. I jerked with pleasure as he touched me
there
, stroking gently yet insistently with the tip of his finger.
    ‘You’re so wet,’ he murmured throatily against my ear. ‘You want me as much as I want you, don’t you? Say it, darling. Say it.’
    ‘I want you,’ I whispered. ‘I love you, Paul.’
    I was being carried away on a tide of emotion, swept ever forward with the relentless surge of a passion I had not known existed.
    I felt him lifting himself. What was he doing? Something hot and soft was pressing against me there, where his finger had been. Now it was nudging at me, pushing into me. It felt huge and hard as he suddenly thrust up inside me. I realized what he was doing and was frightened.
    ‘No, Paul … we mustn’t … not that.’
    He wasn’t listening. His breath rasped against my ear as he thrust himself right into me. I gave a cry of pain, which he smothered with a kiss. He was crushing me, hurting me. I struggled, trying to push him off, trying to stop him. This was wrong! The warm feeling I’d felt earlier had vanished. I didn’t want this to happen, not like this.
    He was too strong for me. I felt tears come to my eyes as I realized he wasn’t going to stop. He didn’t care that he was upsetting me. He wasn’t going to stop. He wasn’t going to stop …
    All of a sudden it was over. I felt him jerk and he groaned loudly, then slumped down on me, his breathing rasping in my ear. For a few minutes he lay on top of me, then rolled away and sat up.
    I was crying as I sat up. I felt ashamed and somehow used. I couldn’t look at him.
    ‘You should have said no earlier,’ Paul muttered, looking annoyed. ‘I thought you wanted it. You said you wanted me – what did you expect?’
    ‘I did – I do.’ I took the handkerchief he offered and wiped my cheeks. ‘I love you. I just didn’t want it to happen yet, not like that. It was wrong.’
    ‘Not for me.’ He sounded sulky. ‘You know I love you. Don’t make so much fuss, Emma. It always hurts a bit the first time. You will enjoy it more the next time we do it.’
    ‘Can I use the bathroom please?’
    ‘Yes, of course. Down the hall – the last door to your right.’
    I left quickly. I was hurt and humiliated. Paul had done what he wanted without