Free I Made You My First by Ciara Threadgoode Page A

my emotional day, I had to look away. The emotions of Aunt Jean’s call registered on my face, and I could feel my throat swelling up. My eyes were beginning to fill. 
    “Whoa,” I heard him say.  “I didn’t mean to make you cry.”  He must have thought I was crying, because he was sitting on the arm of my chair before I knew it.
    “I’m not crying, Irish.”  As I finished saying that, I felt an incriminating tear drop run down my cheek.  He looked into my eyes, held my face, and gently kissed my forehead.
    “I’m so sorry,” he said, pulling me tenderly into his chest.  I was caught off guard by his caring gesture, maybe because it all happened so fast.  I pushed into his body and relaxed every muscle, surrendering to his embrace. 
    This feels so good , I thought.  I remained there, staying very still in his arms, my face buried in his chest.  We stayed that way for several minutes, gently rocking back and forth.  I wasn’t sure of the time. 
    He lifted my face gently.  “I’m so sorry, Jurnee, I could’ve picked a hundred different questions and that was the stupidest  one of all.  Can we take a break from the game and go for a walk?”  I nodded.  “I’d like to show you something.”  We stood up and he grabbed my coat as we headed for the front door.  He held his hand out and we walked down the same path we’d come in on.
    I could see colorful lights ahead, through the trees.  It was dark and they looked so bright they reminded me of the lights on a Ferris wheel.  As we moved closer, I could see it was a huge fountain sitting in the middle of a pool, or a pond.  The lights then looked more like a rainbow stretching out over the length of the water.  We stopped at the edge of the pool and admired the colors.
    “What’s this?” I asked.
    “It’s a fountain and pool made for my grandmother.  She was very colorful,” he said, looking at me with his handsome smile.
    “It’s lovely.”
    He bent down, feeling and splashing the water with his fingers, “It’s warm, feel.”
    I sat down Indian style, with my jacket in my lap.  He sat beside me.  I leaned in toward the water and could feel the heat drifting up toward my face.  I dipped my hand in the fountain.  It was as warm as bath water. 
    “This is amazing,” I admitted.  I wondered if it was the place he’d said he wanted to take me earlier, but I didn’t ask, I just sat quietly next to him.  I felt his arm move across my back and his hand rested on my shoulder.  I didn’t move, but just let myself enjoy his touch. 
    Snuggling in closer to him, I asked, “Irish, may I ask you something?”
    He put his head on the side of my face.  “Jurnee, you can ask me anything.”  I couldn’t see it but I felt his smile.  After a few seconds, he lifted his head and looked at me, letting me know I had his full attention.  I took a deep breath. 
    I wasn’t sure if I was going to like his answer, so I prepared myself.  “What did Judy tell you when she called you today?  I guess I’m really asking why  you went to the bay to get me.  Was it because you felt sorry for me?”  I exhaled.  There, I’d said it.  I watched his face.  He turned his whole body toward me and stared. 
    I know it was only seconds, but it felt like minutes before he said anything.  “Jurnee, I didn’t feel sorry for you,” he held my hands and  continued staring at me.  “I wanted to spend time with you today and honestly, when you said you were going with your girlfriends to the bay, I was really bummed.  I started questioning whether you were really going with your friends or you just didn’t want to see me .”
    I wondered in that instant how he could not know I was crazy about him.  Hadn’t I given him plenty of signs?  I wanted to stop him.  I wanted to explain what he was doing to me.  I really wanted to apologize for not being any good at relationships. But I didn’t.  I wasn’t sure how to