Free Specter (9780307823403) by Joan Lowery Nixon Page B

around Julie. The three of us watch Dr. Paull approach the patrolman. We can see themtalking. Now the driver of the green car is spread-eagled against the side of his car. His head is down.
    In a few moments Dr. Paull walks back to us.
    “He’s just a kid,” Dr. Paull says, as he drops into the driver’s seat. “He’s high on something. Isn’t sure where he is or what he’s doing. They think it’s a stolen car.”
    We are back on the road again and entering the highway before he adds, “Julie, do you want to tell us more about this man Sikes?”
    “No,” Julie says. “I don’t want to talk about him.”
    “It would help if you could describe him, tell us why you’re so afraid of him.”
    “No!”
    She is wedged against me, and I feel the current that stiffens her body. Her fingers in mine are hot. “Calm down,” I tell her. “Don’t be scared. It wasn’t Sikes.”
    Dr. Lynn and Dr. Paull begin to talk in low voices, so I tune them out. I keep patting Julie’s hand until I feel her relax.
    “It wasn’t Sikes.” She repeats my words to herself.
    Who is Sikes? Why does he come wrapped in terror? What does he want from Julie?
    I look down at the child beside me and ask myself one more unanswerable question: How much does Julie want from me?

CHAPTER
7
    The day has been too much for me, and as we return to the hospital, I try to become vivacious. Sparkle, bubble, put on a false face. Please, may I go again? See, it was good for me. Please, look only into my eyes, where I’m forcing all my energy, and don’t notice the blue shadows under the transparent skin.
    Dr. Lynn’s arm is around me. She is damp and warm and smells of stale cologne. “Take it easy, Dina. Get some rest now.”
    “I’m not a bit tired.”
    But she knows. “Our emotions can sometimes make us more tired than our physical problems. You had a pretty fair amount of stress today. The first time back to see your friends can be difficult in some ways. Next time will be easier for you.”
    “Will there really be a next time? You’ll take me again?”
    “Yes,” she answers. “When you’re ready.”
    “And when we have time.” Grasshopper legs has put on his starched white manner without benefit of starched white coat. Here in his environment he is once again the serious medical man. “I’ll send the box up to your room,” he adds.
    “Thank you for taking us,” I say, and Julie adds, “Thanks for the hamburgers.”
    “It was an enjoyable afternoon,” he says, but he’s looking at Dr. Lynn.
    This isn’t the kid love I’ve seen and felt, the Rob-love without roots, not even the can’t-wait-to-get-married love like that between Daisy and gooney Parker. I can recognize something else here, and I suppose Dr. Lynn will end up giving Dr. Paull a good part of her life, maybe the rest of it. Is this what her life’s all about? I ride up to our floor with Julie clutched in one hand, the package of leftover cake in the other.
    “I didn’t want to go with them,” Julie says. “I wanted to stay with you.” Her lower lip curls out in a pout, and she half turns from me.
    “You don’t own me,” I say, but I look at that thin back with the protruding shoulder blades and remember the scars. So I squeeze her hand and say, “I didn’t mean to be cross, Julie. I’m tired, and you are, too.”
    The doors open. As soon as we step into the hallway Mrs. Cardenas beams and comes toward us.
    “Everything’s okay with the agency,” she says. “Tomorrow’s my party, and after that you move in with me!”
    “You’re a very good person to do this,” I tell her. I should feel glad to leave the hospital. Maybe I should feel relieved. But I am too drained to feel anything. I just want to be by myself.
    I pull my stiff fingers from Julie’s grasp, hand Mrs. Cardenas the cake, and flop on my bed, without even taking off my shoes. Julie goes into the bathroom.
    Mrs. Cardenas quickly whispers to me, “Arturo found out the