Free The Dukes by Brian Masters Page B

"The town rings of the Duke of Norfolk's divorce, which will come to nothing but publishing each other's infamy." 30 How right she was.
    The Duke died of apoplexy at the age of forty-six, and was suc­ceeded by his nephews the 8th Duke (1683-1732) and the 9th Duke (1686-1777), w ho was a timid mouse of a man, married to a shrewish virago of a Duchess. It was she who gave the orders, he who obeyed. She was practically Duke of Norfolk herself, and was even called "My Lord Duchess" by those with a sense of humour. At a house-warming party she gave, which "all the earth" attended, Walpole says that "there was all the company afraid of the Duchess, and the Duke afraid of all the company". 31 Lady A. Irwin corrobo­rates the impression of a Laurel and Hardy marriage. The Duchess, she says, "must act the man where talking is necessary". 32
    At all events, the marriage was childless, but so many Howards were about that there was no danger of the dukedom becoming extinct. It passed to his second cousin, son of Mr Charles Howard, who as 10th Duke of Norfolk (1720-1786) was another eccentric figure of the elegant eighteenth century, a "drunken old mad fellow" who "dressed like a Cardinal". 33 But his eccentricity was tame com­pared with the wild excesses of his son the nth Duke, a theatrical, extravagant character who is one of those larger-than-life aristocrats, like the 4th Duke of Queensberry (Old Q), whose personality elbows all others off the pages of social history.
    The 11th Duke of Norfolk (1746-1815) was corpulent, sweaty, muscle-bound, and graceless. He moved, dressed, and ate in a clumsy manner, was perpetually drunk, and never washed. "In cleanliness he was negligent to so great a degree", writes someone who knew him well, "that he rarely made use of water for purposes of bodily refreshment and comfort. He even carried the neglect of his person so far, that his servants were accustomed to avail themselves of his fits of intoxicati.cn, for the purpose of washing him." The servants would lay him out on the floor, undress him, and wash him head to toe while he was semi-conscious, or indeed out cold. He would other­wise presumably have smelt intolerably. He complained one day to
    Dudley North that he suffered badly from rheumatism, and had tried every remedy without effect. "Pray, my Lord," said North, "did you ever try a clean shirt ?" 34
    "Jockey of Norfolk" or "The Jockey", as the nth Duke was called, surpassed all competitors in the consumption of wine. He was the most famous drunk of the eighteenth century. The Duke's capa­city to drink anyone under the table, and then proceed to another party to start all over again, was well known. He could drink five or six times as much as anyone else before he would feel the effect. When finally the wine overcame him, after perhaps a whole night of debauchery to which drinking was only a prologue, he would collapse at dawn in the streets, where his harassed servants would find him sleeping peacefully in the gutter or on a bench.
    His boon companion in these excesses was the Prince of Wales. Together, the Prince and the Duke were frequently seen, arms sup­porting each other, staggering up the street. Years later, the Prince and his royal brothers determined to make the Duke so drunk that he would forfeit his crown as champion imbiber. He was invited to a drinking party at the Pavilion in Brighton. He drove over from Arundel Castle, with his famous equipage of grey horses. Tumblers of wine were mixed with tumblers of brandy, the old man drinking one glass with everyone singly, so that he finished by consuming about ten times more than anyone else. The companions fell one by one like ninepins, and the Duke continued, unsteady but standing. Finally, he said he must go home, called for his carriage, and slumped within it. The royal princes, aching with merriment and swooning against the walls, waved him off, having instructed the coachman to drive him round in circles. The poor old Duke