Free Saving Sam (The Wounded Warriors Book 1) by Simone Beaudelaire, J.M. Northup Page A

to the road. “You never could. I liked you just fine when you were shy for everyone but me.”
    “Would you rather I went back to that?”
    “Amy,” Sam said seriously, “Please, don't be anything
for me
. Be yourself. Be what you want to be. If you're not real, how can we be together? There's only room for one screwed-up mess in this relationship, and I already claimed that title.”
    “Sam,” she said hesitantly, turning the conversation in a direction he didn't like, “if you're so… screwed up, why don't you… talk to someone about it? I know the military has people who can help. You're going back next week, right?”
    “Yes.” His answer was terse.
I don't want to lie on some couch and talk about my feelings. Besides, soldiers only have five feelings anyways; happy, tired, horny, hungry, and angry. If I'm hungry then I eat, if I'm tired, I sleep, if I'm horny then I'm happy I have Amy, and if I get angry, well, I can work out. What else do I need?
    “There are all kinds of options available to help. There are chaplains, counselors, everything. If something really horrible happened, if it's too much for you, don't keep it bottled up, don't just suffer. I don't like seeing you hurting.” She touched his hand.
    For Sam, Amy's touch was more soothing than any counselor could ever be.
I have everything under control I'm dealing with everything just fine.
Hadn't all his training been meant to prepare him to handle just this kind of thing?
    What soldier hasn't faced the nightmares of war? I'm not a pansy ass; I'm a United States Security Forces Member!
He thought to himself.
I can't blame her. She doesn't understand and I can't tell her. I don't want to open her eyes to the horrors that exist in the world or the demons that live inside so many of us.
    “I don't need that, Amy. Do you think I'm broken? I can handle it.” His tone was curt, an aggressive bark that sounded far angrier than he had intended.
    She withdrew from him physically, though she did not stop. “Can you? You're not eating and you're barely sleeping.”
    Damn it, gentle, Wallace, remember?
“I slept well enough last night.” He tried to distract her from her pestering with a leer.
    “I'm sure,” she replied wryly, a twist of her lips revealing she was aware of his attempt to prevaricate. “And I'll be happy to join you if that makes it easier for you to relax.”
    “I'd rather join you. What do you think, Amy? Can we just make sleeping together part of the plan?”
    “I thought we did.”
    He grinned. “Well, yeah, sex of course, but I meant actually
sleeping
together. Like we sleep in the same bed.”
    “Ah. Yes, we can do that.” Now Amy sounded excited.
Liked it that much, did you, baby? You ain't seen nothing yet. I have a thousand more ways to make you scream
. “Oh, Sam, stop here,” she urged, pointing at a pharmacy. “No matter what definition of sleeping you're using, we need some protection.”
    “Right,” he grinned then he pulled in to park the truck in a spot next to the entrance. “Stay here. I'll be right back.”
    He was back in a moment, a little plastic bag dangling on his arm.
    “Make a doctor's appointment, sweet Amy. I hate these things. They're not for us.”
    “Okay,” she responded.
    If only,
Sam thought,
if only things were different. It would be so sweet to forget about birth control altogether, and just let things play out the way they would.
Last night had been beautiful and hot, but introducing a layer of latex between them would not be as intense, and it brought a note of… wrongness. It was like saying there was a lack of trust between them. He would just as soon not use them, but he wasn't ready for all that meant. Not yet.

Chapter 6
    Back at the ranch, Amy returned to her apartment alone. Sam would be joining her shortly, but first he needed to pack up some clothes for the morning and grab his toothbrush. Nervously, she retrieved a few items from the mini-fridge in the kitchen where Janie