Free Hopelessly Devoted to Holden Finn by Tilly Tennant Page B

tell me what’s wrong.’
    ‘There’s nothing wrong.’
    ‘Something is bothering you.’
    Jeanie paused, before exhaling loudly and then sitting down next to Bonnie at the table.
    ‘I’ve been trying to tell you for ages…’
    ‘Tell me what?’
    ‘I’ve met someone.’
    ‘What do you mean?’ Bonnie knew perfectly well what her mother meant; but her brain couldn’t compute the information for some reason.
    ‘I’ve met a man…’
    Bonnie stared at her mother.
    ‘It’s not that abnormal.’
    ‘I know, but it’s just so sudden.’
    ‘Sudden? You’re the one who’s been telling me for the last five years I should find another fella.’
    ‘It’s just that…’
    ‘It’s just that you didn’t really mean it even though you thought you did and now that there’s someone on the scene it feels like a replacement for your dad, even though you know that nobody will ever replace your dad.’ Jeanie smiled and pulled Bonnie into a hug. ‘I knew how you’d feel about it, that’s why I didn’t want to tell you.’
    ‘Ok,’ Bonnie said quietly as she pulled away. ‘You’re right, just like you always are. How long has this been going on?’
    ‘A couple of months.’
    ‘A couple of months?’ Bonnie thought back to the times that she could remember her mum being out over the past few weeks. ‘But when? You’re nearly always here.’
    ‘He’s been kind of hard to get hold of,’ Jeanie replied awkwardly. ‘There hasn’t been much opportunity for us to see each other.’
    Bonnie looked at her mum thoughtfully. ‘So who is he?’ she asked, rallying herself to cheeriness.
    ‘He’s named Juan.’
    ‘Unusual name. Where’s he live?’
    ‘Costa del Sol.’
    ‘What!’
    ‘Spain.’ Jeanie got up to fetch the biscuit tin from the cupboard.
    ‘I know where it is,’ Bonnie said. ‘But how the hell are you going to sustain a relationship with a man in Spain?’
    Jeanie shrugged as she popped the lid off the tin and nosed inside.
    Bonnie sat at the table with a dazed expression. ‘No wonder you’ve been on so many fag runs...’
    Jeanie laughed. ‘Sorry, love. I just didn’t know how to tell you about him. But then after all that messing around and wondering how to put it, I realised that the best way was just to come out with it. After all, you’re a big girl now.’
    Bonnie paused. ‘Spanish, eh?’
    Jeanie nodded.
    ‘We don’t half have a thing for foreigners in our family.’ Bonnie gave a faint smile.
    ‘Let’s hope we don’t have a thing for deserters,’ Jeanie replied darkly.
    ‘It’s pretty hard to desert someone when they live in another country already.’
    Jeanie hesitated for a moment, holding her daughter in a carefully measured gaze and Bonnie felt her blood run cold. She’d seen that look a million times before and she knew she wasn’t going to like what it meant.
    ‘That’s the thing,’ Jeanie began slowly, ‘I’m not sure we’re going to be in separate countries for much longer.’
    ‘Please tell me Juan is moving to England…’
    Jeanie shook her head.
    ‘Oh, God, Mum…’
    ‘He’s asked me to move to Spain, and I’ve said yes.’
    ‘You hardly know the man!’
    ‘That didn’t stop you running off with Henri when you were eighteen,’ Jeanie snapped.
    ‘That was a three-month fling and then we moved back to England together, it was different, it was never meant to be permanent.’
    ‘You didn’t know that at the time.’
    Bonnie sighed, fighting the tears that she knew were selfish. ‘What will I do without you, Mum?’
    Jeanie put down the tin and went back to the table. She took Bonnie’s hand. ‘It took me a long time to get over your dad, but lately I’ve come to realise something very important. I’m not getting any younger, despite the leather trousers that I know you think are unsuitable,’ Jeanie laughed and Bonnie forced a smile, ‘and life is too short to be so afraid that you let everything pass you by.’
    ‘That means that you