on dye jobs and facials and other things I donât even like to think about. The customers were beginning to stare, so the head guy promised to squeeze me in for a cut and blow-dry. I was sort of embarrassed about it, but when the poor little receptionist scurried off to see who could âdoâ me, Kathleen turned around and winked at me like âWe did it, kid!â or âYou and me, baby, all the way!â Something like that. I canât describe it exactly, but it was definitely a âweâre buddiesâ type of thing to do.
We were both pretty tired when we got home, so we just flaked out in front of the TV. I was worried Kathleen was going to make me watch one of those old-fashioned shows about lords and ladies where they laugh at things that arenât funny and talk about things you donât understand. You know, your typical grown-upâs idea of a good show. Something you could almost imagine my mother approving of.
Something even I wouldnât want to watch.
So was I ever relieved when she said, âWhy donât we make a big bowl of popcorn and watch the Home Design Channel?â
The popcorn was patheticâKathleen doesnât take butter or saltâbut everything else was perfect. It turned out we both loved decorating shows. And we both loved the really bad ones as much as the really good ones. (The bad ones are way funnier.)
We talked and talked and talked and I wasnât shy at all.
I didnât always agree with her at first. Kathleen likes her rooms like she likes her popcorn.
Plain.
Or, as sheâd say, âSimple, but elegant.â (Iâm the type that goes for the butter, the salt and the dill pickle flavoring. If Iâd been rich and the type of person who liked other people to look at me, Iâd have gone for a house with the works too.)
The more Kathleen talked, though, the more I started to understand what she meant. I actually began to see why those pouffy curtains were a big mistake. Or why that lady was smart to knock the wall out between her kitchen and her dining room. Or how a simple, deep grey velvet would have looked so much more sophisticated than that busy flowered fabric. I started to get really excited about how I could decorate under my bed, especially when that show came on about âMaking the most of low ceilings.â
I got so excited I almost told Kathleen about Dreemland. I said, âYou know, Iâ¦â She turned and looked at me like she was really interested in what I was going to say. Thatâs when I knew I had to change the subject. I didnât want to ruin everything by being weird. Telling her I liked lying under my bed. Making it like my own little house. What was she going to say to that? I donât knowâbut I knew what sheâd be thinking: Get this kid out of here.
Kathleen kept looking at me with her eyebrows way up, so I had to think of something to say.
Brain panic.
Finally I said, âIâ¦I think you should produce a decorating show. Youâd be good at it.â
I love it when things like that happen. When you just accidentally say the right thing. Kathleenâs face got all happy.
Thatâs exactly what sheâd always wanted to do! she said.
Bitsie ânâ Bytesie just kind of fell into her lap, but she never really wanted to do kidsâ TV. She doesnât really understand children. 35
Home design she understood. Thatâs where her heart was, 36 she said. She was really working hard trying to come up with an idea for a series. The problem was âthe market was flooded.â There were so many home decorating shows already on the air. Kathleen needed to come up with one that was different, something with an âangle,â a âhookâ that the broadcaster would go for. You can have the worldâs greatest idea for a show, but if one of the channels wonât pick it up, itâs not worth much. Etc. Etc. Etc.
She was really