Free Brooklyn Rose by Ann Rinaldi Page A

want to go.
July 27
    TODAY RENE took me shopping in New York. Charley drove the barouche, which is dark blue trimmed with black. He had it nicely polished. We went to Simpson-Crawford on Sixth Avenue, where I bought some fall dresses, new underthings, shoes, and a long skirt and middy blouse and a robe. After that Rene took me to lunch on Ninth Avenue and University Place, where we had French food. Rene drank French wine but ordered none for me because, he said, it was too hot outside and I wasn't accustomed to it.
    I think I could almost love Rene. And this I did not plan on. I planned just to marry him because he is nice and has position and garners esteem. And because he holds the mortgage on Daddy's plantation. I really did it for Mama and Daddy, if I were to be honest. The thing I need to know is, why won't he speak of his family? And why does he seem to have such a sadness in him?
    Tomorrow I go with Bridget into her neighborhood.
July 28
    IT IS VERY HOT . Rene told me at breakfast that he wants to take me to the mountains for a vacation. But I said no. The house is cool, I have everything I need right here, and if I want to go anywhere, I'd go home. He just shrugged. I hope I haven't hurt his feelings.
    I was gone all afternoon with Bridget. We took the trolley for what seemed like endless blocks, west of here into her neighborhood. I wish I hadn't gone. It is all a series of rundown houses, some that never saw a coat of paint, ragged children playing in the middle of the horse dung and urine in the streets, and garbage falling out of boxes. And the smell is horrible. So many houses had broken or cracked windows, and since the day was nice, the front doors all stood open.
    But most of all the place reeked of failure, desolation, and despair. Dingy laundry ran on lines across the streets; vendors were everywhere. When we got off the trolley and Bridget showed me her house—which was at the end of the street and at least had an empty field next to it—it looked a little better than the others. But still it is in sad repair. She introduced me to two men sitting in the front yard. One was her injured father and the other his father. I shook their hands. Her grandfather must be in his eighties. He showed me the things he'd carved. One I particularly liked. It was a carved pipe stand, and I thought how perfect it would be for Rene's pipes. So I bought it and we got on the trolley and came back home.
    The only trouble was that when we got home, Rene was there, having left work early. I was glad I had the pipe stand in a bag. "Where have you been?" he asked. When I told him, he scowled and called Bridget into his study. "If you take her there again, I shall terminate your services," I heard him scolding her. But he said nothing to me and I felt like a child. Oh, I feel so badly for Bridget.
    "That man really loves you," Bridget said, as she started to set the table for supper.
    But I didn't care. I went into the study, where he was reading the mail behind his desk. "Tell me if you don't want me going someplace," I said. "Don't make me feel like a child, between you and Bridget."
    He smiled. "You want me to scold you?"
    "No."
    "You want me to terminate your services?"
    "I want you to discuss it with me," I said. I saw respect in his eyes. "I wish you hadn't gone," he said. "It's a squalid place."
    "Well, I should know about it. Doesn't anyone help the children?"
    "We can't take them in, Rose. So don't start."
    Still, I think somebody ought to be able to do something for them.

16
July 29
    I HAVE SUSPECTED this for some time, but now I am sure. I am expecting a child! Oh, I am half afraid and all excited. I have written to Mama and she has written back saying it is likely so and that we should find a good doctor. But I haven't told Rene yet.
July 30
    A NEIGHBOR came to call today. Her name is Mrs. Snelling and she lives in the large Victorian two doors down. It is three colors and ours is only two. Rene calls her house