Free My Soul Cries Out by Sherri L. Lewis Page A

going to . . . if you don’t want to . . . if we’re not going to be together, we should at least talk to him before we make that decision.”
    â€œI’ll think about it.” I had never heard of a pastor doing divorce counseling, but I guess if they did pre-marital and marriage counseling, they should. “I have to go. I’ll call you and let you know when I’ll be available to meet with Bishop Walker, should I decide to.”
    I had no desire whatsoever to see Kevin again. After our last meeting, I wasn’t too excited about seeing Bishop either. And if either one of them mentioned me and Kevin staying married, God was gonna have to help me to make sure Bishop Walker’s office didn’t end up looking like my living room after the incident.

9
    O n the Friday night before Trina was scheduled to leave, she convinced me to go out for a goodbye dinner. We went to one of our favorite hang-out spots. After we got there, I was glad she had twisted my arm to go. It felt good to be out, like everything was normal.
    While we were sitting at the bar waiting for our table, I heard a screechy voice calling my name.
    â€œLook who it is! Monnie, over here.”
    Oh, no. I recognized the voice of my friend, Shavon, from the choir. She walked up with Janae in tow. We should have known not to come here. Janae, Trina, Shavon, and I came here almost every Friday night when Trina used to go to Love and Faith. Even after she left, we still hung out here at least once a month.
    â€œMonnie, it’s so good to see you,” Janae said. She and Shavon hugged me.
    â€œWhat’s up, girl? You okay? We miss you.” Janae’s eyes were full of concern.
    I hadn’t seen or talked to any of my friends from Love and Faith because I knew they’d want to know what was going on with me and Kevin, and I had no idea what to tell them. If Kevin had had the decency to cheat with another woman, I could at least sob to my girlfriends and still have some self-respect.
    Shavon gave me the same pitiful look. “You don’t have to answer any questions or tell us anything. We just want you to know we love you.”
    I clenched my teeth together. I will not cry, I will not cry, I will not cry.
    My eyes disobeyed me.
    Shavon’s eyes grew big. “Oh, no. I’m sorry. We didn’t mean to upset you.”
    I wiped my eyes. “It’s okay. Sorry I haven’t returned any—”
    â€œYou don’t have to apologize, girl.” Shavon rubbed my arm. “Just know you can talk to us if you need to.”
    Janae and Shavon looked up and realized Trina was standing there. They both hugged her. “Oh, my goodness, I thought you had left for Africa,” Janae said.
    â€œI leave Sunday morning,” Trina said.
    â€œI’m glad we got to see you before you left,” Shavon said. “It must have been God that led us all here tonight. Let me see if I can get our usual table.”
    Before Trina or I could stop her, she was already headed toward the hostess’ booth. The hostess came over and led us to our favorite table in the corner.
    I sat across from Trina, between Janae and Shavon. I wondered what they knew. Had Kevin given the choir some phony explanation as to why I hadn’t been there? The choir was like a big family and everybody was really close, but I knew Kevin hadn’t told them the truth. Not knowing what they thought was going on made me wary of talking.
    I picked up my menu and perused it as if I didn’t know everything on it by heart.
    Trina said, “So, Janae, who’s the new man in your life this week?”
    Janae looked insulted. “Whatever, girl.” She smiled. “Okay, so his name is Stevie, and I met him at the Metro station of all places.”
    We all laughed and relaxed into hearing about Janae’s latest relationship adventure. It was great, like old times, until . . .
    â€œOh my God, that’s so