Free Welcome to Paradise by Laurence Shames Page B

orchids?" Al demanded.
"If I meant orchids, I'd say orchids. I'm saying lobsters."
    "Lobsters," the clerk said numbly.
    "Lobsters," Al repeated. "In my room. Now
they're in the pool."
    "Mr. Tuschman. You shouldn't put lobsters in
the pool."
    "I didn't put them in. They ran in. They dove
in. They're dead."
    The clerk scratched his shaved head.
    "And what's this crap about orchids?" Al
asked him.
    "Orchids?"
    "Yeah, orchids. I said lobsters, you said
orchids."
    "Right. Someone came last night to deliver
orchids."
    "And you let him in my room?" said Al.
    "I didn't let him in your room. He said he'd
leave them by the door."
    Al Tuschman bit his lip. "This guy, what did
he look like?"
    The clerk bit his lip, too. "He looked like
... he looked like . . . who remembers? A delivery man. Apron.
Paper hat."
    Al drummed his fingers on the counter,
thought that over. At last he said, "Where I'm from, florists don't
wear paper hats and aprons. Seafood guys wear paper hats and
aprons."
    "Gee," said the clerk, "I never thought of
that." He stifled a yawn.
    Disgusted, Al Tuschman turned to go. Halfway
to the door, he was struck by something else. "Don't you ever leave
here?" he asked the clerk. "Don't you ever sleep?"
    "Rents are high. Not everyone appreciates,"
he whined, "just how hard we work."
    *
    "Batt'ries included ,?' ' asked Big Al
Marracotta.
    The clerk shrugged then took back the latex
gizmo, tried to figure out how to unscrew the base. The gadget was
not as technologically advanced as the ones in Sex Trek, but
it had a raffish design and a certain ingenuity. Katy Sansone
rolled her eyes.
    "Yeah, batteries are in there," said the
clerk. He sniffled, ran a finger under his nose, then added, "Or
you can use the crank."
    "And the hot water goes in here?" said
Al.
    "Hot water, margarine, whatever."
    "Would feel good, no?" said Al. He'd taken
the thing back and was cranking it in Katy's direction so that it
wiggled like a spastic cobra.
    "Al," she said, "isn't it a little
early?"
    In fact they'd just had breakfast. The porn
store had been open fifteen minutes. The clerk's first cup of
coffee still stood on a display case filled with ticklers and
extenders and things with leather straps.
    "All of a sudden you're inhibited?" Big Al
teased. He flashed that surprising boy-devil grin, the grin that
moved his hair and showed the small gap in his teeth. "Like amore's only for the dark of night?"
    "I guess I didn't realize it was amore ," she said. "Seemed more like Roto-Rooter. I'm going
to the beach."
    "The beach?" he said. "We been through
that."
    "Right," said Katy. "You don't like sand and
riffraff. So you go to the pool. I'll see you in a couple
hours."
    Big Al fidgeted, took a moment to decide if
he was mad. He felt a little silly with the pleasure unit in his
hand and his girlfriend leaning toward the door. Plus, he didn't
like her tone. A little bratty and ungrateful. Then again, some
spunk, some spirit—it kept things fresh, a little bit on edge.
"Fine," he said at last. "I'll see ya later."
    Half surprised to be sprung, afraid that Al
might quickly change his mind, she pivoted on her tall shoes and
bolted from the store.
    Breaking out into the clean, hot sunshine of
the sidewalk, she inhaled the smells of softening asphalt and
sunblock spiced with coconut, and realized all at once that she
hadn't had a moment to herself in days. Just to walk at her own
pace; to look at what she chose to look at; to breathe.
    She walked fast for half a block, as though
pursued, then started to relax. Slowing, using her own eyes, she
saw and did small things that exhilarated her beyond all proportion
to their actual significance. Twirled a postcard rack; smiled at
plump twins in a stroller. Took a color brochure from a young woman
hawking snorkel trips; listened hungrily as she rhapsodized about
coral and striped fish. Paused at a booth promoting sunset sails,
and let herself imagine that someday she would be aboard a
sailboat. Why not? If she were on