Free Morning Glory Circle by Pamela Grandstaff Page B

said it. “I’m just tired.”
    “Would you say we have the kind of friendship where complete honesty is acceptable?” Maggie asked her.
    “Gosh, I hope so,” Caroline said, sounding surprised.
    “You look like you might be ill,” Maggie told her, as gently as she could. “I’m really worried about you.”
    “I’m fine, really,” Caroline said, and jumped up to take her plate to the sink. “You made way too much food. Do you think anyone downstairs would want some?”
    It never would have occurred to Maggie to offer her staff food from her kitchen. For one thing, she rarely cooked for herself. For another, she kept her private life very separate from her work life. Most of her employees had never even been upstairs in her apartment. Caroline had quickly changed the subject and Maggie sensed that any more questions about her health would be shut down in a similar fashion.
    “What are your plans?” Maggie asked her instead.
    “Up in the air, really,” Caroline said. “I need to go over the bequest issues with the executor, and probably sign a million papers at my bank trustee’s office, and then I’m just going to relax. I need to take some time to process Theo’s transition, both spiritually and mentally.”
    “You mentioned some monks were coming?”
    “Oh yeah, they might. There are about twelve of them, and some staff members. Their abbot recently transitioned planes, and their retreat center was destroyed in a wildfire. The lodge is plenty big enough for all of us.”
    “What do they do exactly?”
    “They’re Zen Buddhists,” Caroline said. “They spend most of their time meditating or chanting, but they also train candidates who are seeking ordination into the order, or who just want to teach meditation.”
    “Isn’t meditation just praying?”
    “Meditation can be different for everyone. For me it’s all about putting aside my ego, ignoring the constant chatter inside my head, and finding that stillness where there is peace and the knowledge that we are all one.”
    “I’d sign up for that,” Maggie said. “The voice chattering inside my head is most often my mother’s.”
    “I can teach you,” Caroline said. “It helps keep you in the now moment instead of worrying about the future or regretting the past.”
    “What else is there to do?” Maggie asked her. “I mean, besides working to make money, taking care of the family, and all the church and community stuff that I have to do. Worrying is just watching out for the bad stuff that might happen, so I can be prepared, and regret is what I feel when I fail.”
    “Regret and worry don’t really change anything, they’re just unnecessary suffering. Try just being,” Caroline said. “Just accept what is.”
    Maggie couldn’t imagine accomplishing all she had to do, looking after all the people she cared about, and keeping vigilant against the potential troubles that seem to always lurk nearby, if all she did was relax and accept “what was” all the time.
    “So, besides meditating and teaching meditation, what do the monks do all day?”
    “Not much else. Some orders keep bees, garden, or perform community services, but their particular mission is to teach others to meditate.”
    “There may not be a big call for that in Pine County.”
    “The universe will bring them what they need, and will draw to them the people who need what they have to offer.”
    “Just meditating all day would get kind of old after a week or two, I would think,” Maggie said. “Don’t they ever get bored, lonely, or depressed?”
    “The Buddhist way to approach suffering is to serve others in order to get away from feeling sorry for yourself,” Caroline said.
    Maggie though Caroline looked so sad when she said that. She wondered if all her frantic running around trying to save the world was really just an attempt to distract her friend from how unhappy she was deep inside. Maggie then had the uncomfortable thought that she herself might be