Free Castle Kidnapped by John Dechancie Page A
Authors: John Dechancie
âMister.ââ
âGlad to have you aboard, Mr. Hochstader. Osmirik, has the Earth portal been wandering again?"
âYes, Majesty. There is trouble afoot."
âI know. Loads of it, as a matter of fact. Do you have anything on interdimensional field geometry? I'm having a devil of a time finding anything."
âYes, sire, we do. One volume, and it is kept in the outsized-folio shelves. A thousand pardons, Majesty. I will fetch it for you immediately."
Osmirik hurried off.
âThat's a slick-looking machine you have there, young man,â His Majesty said.
âThanks. Uh, are you the king of this place?"
âThat's me. I'm called Lord Incarnadine. Funny name, but I've become rather fond of it."
âLord, huh? I thought a lord was lower than a king."
âHold on a minute."
Incarnadine descended the stairwell and came over to the table.
âA lord is lower than a king, but the history of this place goes back a long way. The master of this castle was originally the vassal of some big cheese to the east. But then there was a falling-out, a little difference of opinion, a big warâand zip, bang, my family got into the king business. But the traditional title stuck. So the head man around here is still Lord Protector of the Western Paleâthat's where this castle is situatedâbut he's also King of this, that, and the other annexed territory. Clear? Don't worry, it's not very. My âkingdomâ is mostly a desert, and most of my subjects are scattered across 144,000 worlds."
âOh."
Incarnadine smiled. âMay I inspect your gadget?"
âHm? Oh, sure."
Jeremy sat amazed as Incarnadine asked him all sorts of technical questions about the computer's operating system. It was incongruous coming from some guy dressed like something out of a movie about knights and dragons. Jeremy answered all the questions.
âI'd really like to see the guts of this thing,â Incarnadine said.
âNo problem.â Jeremy whipped out his wallet and withdrew a set of miniature tools. Working expertly fast, he cracked open the computer's plastic case and exposed the works to plain view.
Incarnadine bent closer. âBeautiful. Advanced architecture, modular design."
âYou seem to know a lot about computers."
Incarnadine shook his head. âI try to keep up, but I don't have the time. I've built my own, though."
âYou built a computer?"
âWell, it isn't much like the ones back on Earth. For one thing, it doesn't use electricity, because electricity doesn't work around here."
âThat's what they tell me. So how come this thing runs?"
âBecause it's using the magical energy that you're feeding into it."
Jeremy's eyes went wide. âMe?"
Incarnadine flipped a hand over. âNo other way. Take out the batteries."
âHuh? But then it wouldn'tââ Giving his shoulders a shrug, Jeremy opened the little door in the back and took out the NiCd batteries, then turned the computer around and punched a few keys. âHey, it still works!"
âOf course. Everyone who enters Castle Perilous develops a magic skill. You've found yours, obviously."
âNo kidding.â Gaze intent on the readout screen, Jeremy let his fingers dance over the keyboard.
Osmirik returned with a quarto volume and handed it to his liege.
âThanks, Ozzie."
âMay I be of further assistance to His Majesty?"
âWell, I need to do a search of the card catalogue, but I don't want to take you away from any important research project. What's up, by the way?"
Osmirik informed Incarnadine of Gene's disappearance and the plans to devise a locator spell.
âYeah, that sounds like the way to go,â Incarnadine said. âAnd the idea about the computer is terrific. Trouble is, I could also use some state-of-the art help with what I'm doing, which is potentially more important."
âThen by all means, Majesty, you should avail yourself of the
âGlad to have you aboard, Mr. Hochstader. Osmirik, has the Earth portal been wandering again?"
âYes, Majesty. There is trouble afoot."
âI know. Loads of it, as a matter of fact. Do you have anything on interdimensional field geometry? I'm having a devil of a time finding anything."
âYes, sire, we do. One volume, and it is kept in the outsized-folio shelves. A thousand pardons, Majesty. I will fetch it for you immediately."
Osmirik hurried off.
âThat's a slick-looking machine you have there, young man,â His Majesty said.
âThanks. Uh, are you the king of this place?"
âThat's me. I'm called Lord Incarnadine. Funny name, but I've become rather fond of it."
âLord, huh? I thought a lord was lower than a king."
âHold on a minute."
Incarnadine descended the stairwell and came over to the table.
âA lord is lower than a king, but the history of this place goes back a long way. The master of this castle was originally the vassal of some big cheese to the east. But then there was a falling-out, a little difference of opinion, a big warâand zip, bang, my family got into the king business. But the traditional title stuck. So the head man around here is still Lord Protector of the Western Paleâthat's where this castle is situatedâbut he's also King of this, that, and the other annexed territory. Clear? Don't worry, it's not very. My âkingdomâ is mostly a desert, and most of my subjects are scattered across 144,000 worlds."
âOh."
Incarnadine smiled. âMay I inspect your gadget?"
âHm? Oh, sure."
Jeremy sat amazed as Incarnadine asked him all sorts of technical questions about the computer's operating system. It was incongruous coming from some guy dressed like something out of a movie about knights and dragons. Jeremy answered all the questions.
âI'd really like to see the guts of this thing,â Incarnadine said.
âNo problem.â Jeremy whipped out his wallet and withdrew a set of miniature tools. Working expertly fast, he cracked open the computer's plastic case and exposed the works to plain view.
Incarnadine bent closer. âBeautiful. Advanced architecture, modular design."
âYou seem to know a lot about computers."
Incarnadine shook his head. âI try to keep up, but I don't have the time. I've built my own, though."
âYou built a computer?"
âWell, it isn't much like the ones back on Earth. For one thing, it doesn't use electricity, because electricity doesn't work around here."
âThat's what they tell me. So how come this thing runs?"
âBecause it's using the magical energy that you're feeding into it."
Jeremy's eyes went wide. âMe?"
Incarnadine flipped a hand over. âNo other way. Take out the batteries."
âHuh? But then it wouldn'tââ Giving his shoulders a shrug, Jeremy opened the little door in the back and took out the NiCd batteries, then turned the computer around and punched a few keys. âHey, it still works!"
âOf course. Everyone who enters Castle Perilous develops a magic skill. You've found yours, obviously."
âNo kidding.â Gaze intent on the readout screen, Jeremy let his fingers dance over the keyboard.
Osmirik returned with a quarto volume and handed it to his liege.
âThanks, Ozzie."
âMay I be of further assistance to His Majesty?"
âWell, I need to do a search of the card catalogue, but I don't want to take you away from any important research project. What's up, by the way?"
Osmirik informed Incarnadine of Gene's disappearance and the plans to devise a locator spell.
âYeah, that sounds like the way to go,â Incarnadine said. âAnd the idea about the computer is terrific. Trouble is, I could also use some state-of-the art help with what I'm doing, which is potentially more important."
âThen by all means, Majesty, you should avail yourself of the
Similar Books
Oblivion
Dean Wesley Smith, Kristine Kathryn Rusch
Lost Without Them
Trista Ann Michaels
The Naked King
Sally MacKenzie
Beautiful Blue World
Suzanne LaFleur
A Magical Christmas
Heather Graham
Acid Dreams: The Complete Social History of LSD
Martin A. Lee, Bruce Shlain
Rosamanti
Noelle Clark
The American Lover
G E Griffin
Scrapyard Ship
Mark Wayne McGinnis