Free Chasing Superwoman by Susan DiMickele Page A

teachers are really in charge. In preschool the parents are in charge. Of course, the parents are paying for their children to attend preschool, and money talks. In our public grade school, parents can talk all they want, but at the end of the day we’re all at the mercy of the school. Like everything else, there are things you can do to influence the school, something I would learn later in the process.
    It all began on a cold February morning, waiting in line to request Nick’s kindergarten teacher. Kindergarten sign-ups are first come, first served—parents who arrive first get preference on teacher selection. Fortunately, this madness occurs only for kindergarten. The doors open at 8:30 a.m., and I arrived at 8:00 a.m., thinking I was ahead of the game. I was late. One class roster had already been filled. Parents were asked to sign a list noting their arrival time. You could tell I was a first-timer.
    Nick still made it into kindergarten, even with my preference of teacher. After kindergarten screening, kindergarten orientation, the annual school-supply sale, and the kindergarten welcome ice cream social, he was more than ready to take the plunge. He counted the days down until the first day of school. I cried my eyes out. It was worse than his first haircut.
    At our grade school, the teachers have to discourage parents from volunteering. Nick’s kindergarten teacher wisely told the too-eager parents that she wanted the first few months of school to get to know the kids, without mom or dad. In other words, “Stay out of my way, and junior will be fine.” I could live with this. I don’t have time to volunteer anyway. She already had two aides and a student helper, so Nick would get plenty of attention.
    By mid-October, the parents were chomping at the bit to get into the classroom, so she finally put a volunteer schedule together. I emailed her and told her I would like to come into the classroom once a month, but that my schedule changes every month and is completely unpredictable. I suggested that we email some workable dates back and forth and gave her a couple of upcoming possibilities.
    â€œI’m out of town the week of November 10, but the following week I have a window the morning of November 18 (although I just offered that date to someone for a deposition), and I can volunteer on November 20 but I would just need to leave a few minutes early so that I could get to our partner lunch on time.”
    I never heard back. When the November schedule arrived in Nick’s Friday folder, I wasn’t on the schedule. I certainly didn’t blame his teacher. My secretary and I have a hard enough time keeping track of my schedule; I can’t expect Nick’s kindergarten teacher to figure it out.
    Fortunately, Nick is a good student and he gets along fine in the classroom without me. When I was growing up, parents rarely appeared in the classroom. My parents came to every ballet recital and cheerleading meet, but I was on my own in the classroom. I completed my own homework, walked to the bus stop alone, and never brought treats on my birthday. Things have changed, especially when it comes to birthdays. In addition to bringing a snack, most kids bring goodie bags for everyone in the class. These goodie bags have homemade snacks, small toys, and craft projects. The days of a sucker and pencil are over. The average parents will go broke before buying their own child a birthday gift.
    Parent-teacher conferences have also become a production. The night before Nick’s first conference, I could barely sleep. Nick has always been good at home, but what if he had been acting out at school? Since I never volunteer, what if I got caught by surprise? Or worse, what if Nick’s teacher didn’t think he was special? Quiet, compliant children like Nick never get any attention. I felt sick just thinking about it.
    The morning of the conference, I arrived a few minutes early. I had