did to the door. I'd have to seal it off to keep it closed. That's no good.
After the noodles are done I’ll do a half assed job making it secure so I don't have to worry about anything coming in while I'm eating.
I need to find a way to move all this stuff, because the water from the park is heavy enough. I don't want to leave any of this. There'll be hell to pay first.
I took a deck of cards.
I was hoping for a rifle.
I can hear Mr. Ages crunching on dry cat food. I'm writing at a kitchen table in a cute little one bedroom house. If the windows weren't boarded over—neatly, I think I should point out—this would have a very "normal" feel to it.
When the water boils I'm going to have a cup of instant coffee with sugar—I hate dried creamer.
I already went through the caffeine withdrawal—I don't know if I really need to get into that again, but I'm going to.
I'm very willfully falling off the wagon.
Tonight, I hope everyone's doing this well.
Nov 29 6:46am
Mankind can do just about anything. We could adapt if God flooded the world. We could adapt to anything God might have done to the world that 150 years ago would have devastated mankind.
Is this the length God had to go to?
Is this a way to start over for us, as a species—I am content to think that.
Then maybe I don't have a reason to worry about the people I love.
Maybe this is Armageddon.
Maybe all the pieces of shit are dead and snatched away to Hell because there's nothing to debate.
Maybe all the really good people have gone ahead because God knew they were good, without a doubt.
Maybe with everyone that's left there is some doubt about where we belong and we're being tested to see how we really rate.
I accept the challenge. I need something to work toward. There are a lot of things I felt I had to do that I'm not happy about.
I don't want to live this and then go to Hell too.
Do you believe in a higher power?
Do you believe in God?
I do.
With how fucked up things are, I wouldn't take any chances. What's the harm?
But I wonder how many people of faith or otherwise are having doubts they never had before.
I find myself thinking about God more than I have in years. I would pray when luck was walking a razor's edge and I hoped He'd tip things in my favor. Or at least without being cut too bad. I'd pray when I found myself thinking it'd been too long since I prayed.
I haven't been to church since 5th grade.
I don't feel I need to attend to be as good a Christian as anyone that does.
To me, the core of what most religions want is merely for us to not be pieces of shit. Call it playing it safe—or call it commonsense theology—or how about a little common decency.
I think gods were realized in suffering—when people needed something for hope, which is what keeps us going, isn’t it? Gods give us something to blame … Because sometimes it’s really hard to be human.
So it’s no wonder then that I've thought so much about these things now.
If God is undecided about everyone that's still alive—I've sometimes wondered if Mr. Ages is some kind of emissary or supervisor. Maybe there's a grosbeak that's following the person that shot at me and is reporting back.
If that's what's going on, then God's soul inspector just rolled over to clean himself.
I don't know if this is the first time I've seen him from this angle, but it’s clear that he's been neutered. He was cared for.
In a second here I'm going to get up to boil some more water—I'm thinking oatmeal.
There are supplies here—more than I can take. But I can't stay.
It'll be here for the next person.
Found a large rolling suitcase - will lighten my pack - all but a soda bottle's worth of water that I'm going to keep on me.
9:37 am
I slept too hard—I'm sure Mr. Ages must have barked.
We had about an inch of snow and hoarfrost this morning.
It was unmistakable—someone drove by this morning, before I woke at 5ish. 5:11.
The snow and ice melted back in a plate sized
After the noodles are done I’ll do a half assed job making it secure so I don't have to worry about anything coming in while I'm eating.
I need to find a way to move all this stuff, because the water from the park is heavy enough. I don't want to leave any of this. There'll be hell to pay first.
I took a deck of cards.
I was hoping for a rifle.
I can hear Mr. Ages crunching on dry cat food. I'm writing at a kitchen table in a cute little one bedroom house. If the windows weren't boarded over—neatly, I think I should point out—this would have a very "normal" feel to it.
When the water boils I'm going to have a cup of instant coffee with sugar—I hate dried creamer.
I already went through the caffeine withdrawal—I don't know if I really need to get into that again, but I'm going to.
I'm very willfully falling off the wagon.
Tonight, I hope everyone's doing this well.
Nov 29 6:46am
Mankind can do just about anything. We could adapt if God flooded the world. We could adapt to anything God might have done to the world that 150 years ago would have devastated mankind.
Is this the length God had to go to?
Is this a way to start over for us, as a species—I am content to think that.
Then maybe I don't have a reason to worry about the people I love.
Maybe this is Armageddon.
Maybe all the pieces of shit are dead and snatched away to Hell because there's nothing to debate.
Maybe all the really good people have gone ahead because God knew they were good, without a doubt.
Maybe with everyone that's left there is some doubt about where we belong and we're being tested to see how we really rate.
I accept the challenge. I need something to work toward. There are a lot of things I felt I had to do that I'm not happy about.
I don't want to live this and then go to Hell too.
Do you believe in a higher power?
Do you believe in God?
I do.
With how fucked up things are, I wouldn't take any chances. What's the harm?
But I wonder how many people of faith or otherwise are having doubts they never had before.
I find myself thinking about God more than I have in years. I would pray when luck was walking a razor's edge and I hoped He'd tip things in my favor. Or at least without being cut too bad. I'd pray when I found myself thinking it'd been too long since I prayed.
I haven't been to church since 5th grade.
I don't feel I need to attend to be as good a Christian as anyone that does.
To me, the core of what most religions want is merely for us to not be pieces of shit. Call it playing it safe—or call it commonsense theology—or how about a little common decency.
I think gods were realized in suffering—when people needed something for hope, which is what keeps us going, isn’t it? Gods give us something to blame … Because sometimes it’s really hard to be human.
So it’s no wonder then that I've thought so much about these things now.
If God is undecided about everyone that's still alive—I've sometimes wondered if Mr. Ages is some kind of emissary or supervisor. Maybe there's a grosbeak that's following the person that shot at me and is reporting back.
If that's what's going on, then God's soul inspector just rolled over to clean himself.
I don't know if this is the first time I've seen him from this angle, but it’s clear that he's been neutered. He was cared for.
In a second here I'm going to get up to boil some more water—I'm thinking oatmeal.
There are supplies here—more than I can take. But I can't stay.
It'll be here for the next person.
Found a large rolling suitcase - will lighten my pack - all but a soda bottle's worth of water that I'm going to keep on me.
9:37 am
I slept too hard—I'm sure Mr. Ages must have barked.
We had about an inch of snow and hoarfrost this morning.
It was unmistakable—someone drove by this morning, before I woke at 5ish. 5:11.
The snow and ice melted back in a plate sized
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